www.incontinentsupport.org

I've been using cloth more often, primarily around the house. Due to my propensity to flood, I need some bulk down there, so I've been a little hesitant to wear cloth out and about. A trip to the gas station was no big deal, but getting out actually around people has been a hurdle. The last few days I resolved to just go about my business as normal: grocery shopping, banking, getting new tires, etc. Ya know what? It wasn't a big deal at all. I wore a long shirt to help mask the bulge and break up my profile. It must have worked, as I ran into a friend and talked to her for quite a while in the grocery store and never noticed her look down or get a quizzical look on her face. I guess I'm feeling a little more confident about it now and maybe a little proud of myself for conquering a fear.

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Hooray and congratulations! Overcoming fear with competent management is a just cause for celebration.

Yea!!!
Congratulations!
Most people are so wrapped up in their own lives, few take the time to notice much going on around them.
Relax!

Yeah, most people really are oblivious to their surroundings, and I also think that society has gotten to the point that fewer people care what other people do/wear. I'm definitely more comfortable wearing cloth out and about than I was before. To me, cloth is just more comfortable and cost effective.

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Hi 5bugles

Many congrats another milestone reached on the personal journey we all find ourselves on!

Take care!

Greenbank

Kinda related and kinda not... Just a personal reflection...
I have been incontinent for most of my life, with decreasing control over the years. From my mid 20’s, I have actually preferred wearing cloth diapers, not for the costs savings (though a factor), but mainly for the comfort, performance, assurance (no leaks). I’ve always worn cloth at night, but when I started wearing cloth during the day, nearly exclusively, close family and friends made me feel like they though I was crazy! My husband sometimes seems to be the only person that really gets me and the unwavering support I receive from him is nothing short of amazing and heart warming.
I honestly feel for those who are self conscious in public, for whatever reason), and for those who don’t have the support of family and friends. My childhood and teen years were horrible for me so I know what it’s like to feel completely miserable, self conscious, lowest self esteem, and in many ways, very very alone. As an adult, I’m very sensitive to the triggers that might make some fall into the darkness, so I fight vigorously to keep a healthy attitude! I falter from time to time (depression), but my family is very tuned into me and are there to pull me back, and without use of mind numbing drugs....
I’m beyond lucky to have a body shape that allows me to wear the bulk on my butt and tummy area (skinny butt and thighs), but I’ve had YEARS to perfect the look with clothing choices and more important, the confidence!

One more thought:
When we stop allowing our incontinence define us, we have begun to move on with our lives.

Life is short enough. Do what you need to do to be truly happy with your life.

Hi Ellyn. I’m with you on this. I too wear cloth almost exclusively. Due to my heavy incontinence, disposables have let me down many times including in public. My cloth diaper combo has never let me down even after several hours. With the Abena M4’s I wore, I had leaks almost every night. I tried multiple other top brands, I just have very heavy leakage and disposables can’t keep up. My cloth diaper combo consists of a heavy weight flannel prefold and a flat diaper folded into thirds or fourths (like a pad fold) and laid in the center. Plus, my plastic pants. This does make for a lot of bulk. I’m of medium average build. My immediate family does know about my issues. As does my wife’s. I think a couple of my neighbors know but I didn’t tell them. Nobody says anything to me. As described in my other threads, the cloth diapers create a bit of bulk. But I have no other alternative. I don’t go flaunting it, but I’m under no illusion that if you were to stare long enough, you’ll figure it out. I don’t wear overly restrictive clothing. It’s generally light weight fabrics that keep me cool. I live in FL and have a sweating dysfunction. My body’s natural AC is malfunctioning. Which can be quite dangerous, so I can’t wear anything heavy. I generally wear like board shorts or cargo shorts and a T-shirt. I know you can probably tell I’m wearing a diaper. But nobody has ever said anything, not once. But the cloth diapers work for me. And that’s what matters to me. Wetting my clothes in public is not acceptable to me. So I’ll take the bulk. I do wear a medical alert bracelet for my conditions. There are many and some of them are quite dangerous to me. As for my neighbors, and how they found out, I was standing around talking to them and my daughter pulled my shirt up and revealed my undergarments. My neighbors looked right at it. And didn’t bat an eye. They asked what was on my bracelet and I told them. If they were to do a google search, they would probably figure it out real quick. No further explanation needed. If somebody was curious, and polite about it, I may explain depending on the situation. I’m not ashamed.

There should be more like you here. It’s like glasses, hearing aids, or anything that helps you get through the day. People with poor eyesight didn’t ask for it. That’s the hand of cards that they were given. They wear glasses to compensate for the vision issues. They maybe choose frames that make them look distinguished, scholarly, or maybe frameless to hide the glasses... Maybe they could seek surgical alternatives but for whatever reason they don’t or can’t....
Maybe eyes and glasses isn’t a great example of the way I feel about the issues we face and our choices dealing with those issues, but maybe a birth defect or debilitating illness instead. Point is we should all pick ourselves up and move forward and make the very best of our lives.
Maybe it’s 2AM, I can’t sleep, and I’m getting weird??
When society finally stops associating diapers with babies and the elderly, those who feel self conscious about their medical need to wear diapers will relax a little. I think that society is moving rapidly in that direction with all of the TV ads. Medical treatments might help some but there are those who choose otherwise. In my case, been there and done that! Sometimes the treatment leaves you wishing that you simply left it alone and made the best of it. That was me, several times, with their miracle drugs and treatments.... At times I felt dead inside, and trust me, that’s about as low as you can go
I reached a point where I decided that I’m finished with it. I’m very happy with my decision to stop “treatments” and very happy with my life, and that’s really all that’s important. I take nearly zero drugs, am in great shape, and hopefully will live well into my 90’s or more, if my diverticulosis / diverticulitis cooperates... I wear diapers for leakage. So what???

Thank you all for the positive comments - you are all great inspirations! I can relate @Don as I'm a heavy wetter and, while it's not from the same medical issue you have, I have a hard time dealing with summer heat and humidity in the Buckeye state, so I wear cargo shorts and t-shirts from March through November. I'm not sure why, but it somehow feels "cooler" in cloth diapers and plastic pants than in a plastic backed disposable. My wife wants to relocate to Florida but the continual heat and humidity there would be a challenge for me.

@Ellyn, I too feel for those who are self conscious in public. Fortunately, I'm at a point in my life where I generally don't have to be. Still, I sometimes have to get myself over that mental hurdle. There are times when I am tempted to just throw it out there on Facebook, "Hey everyone, I have a medical condition and wear diapers. Just thought you should know..." Kind of like coming out of the closet as being IC, I guess, so I wouldn't have to worry that people might find out. Of course I doubt I would actually do that, but I do think of the freedom it could bring.

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."