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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 12:52 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:47 pm
Posts: 17
Hi folks, it's been one year since I posted here with questions on using cloth diapers for the first time. I was very reluctant to come to grips with using an actual "diaper" - after all, the briefs I was using weren't diapers. They were protective underwear. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. So that's what I did.

Now I've got a supply of over 2 dozen diapers, plus pins and plastic pants. I have been wearing cloth diapers for urinary incontinence exclusively now with the exception of sweltering summer days. I find the comfort level superior - it's just a hell of a lot more comfortable to wrap yourself in soft fabric than paper, plastic, and chemicals. Yeah it's bulky but I got used to it. And I still turn beet red when I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror wearing a big diaper. But I'm in the privacy of my own - not Main Street. Plus I take more comfort in looking like an overgrown brat then a hospital patient. More like I'm on my way to a frat hazing than an oncology ward.

My comfort level has increased both physically and emotionally - thanks to this he support of folks here. Urinary issues aren't bar talk - so chatting here was like shooting the breeze over a beer but with a rather esoteric and humiliating topic - diapers. But better that than glass eyes, prosthetic limbs, and iron lungs. I could have it much worse. A reminder of what I read decades ago (author forgotten) - no matter how bad things are, someone has it much, much worse.

Thanks again ladies and (mostly) gents. Guess women are a bit more shy with private issues. If anyone reading this is bashful about having to wear diapers - can I be your textbook example? It isn't so bad, and you can make yourself comfortable. You've got plenty of company (just watch the TV ads) and, as I said before - just suck it up and do what works best. For me it's gauze diapers, pins, plastic pants. I came into the world that way. Looks like I'll be leaving that way. But not for a long time.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:24 pm
Posts: 410
Jason, the increase in your comfort level comes simply from not only finding a product that 1. Works as best as you can hope for and 2. is comfortable. But also accepting where you are and knowing you can go on with life ALMOST as well as you did before diapers. I am about there also but still "loose it" occasionally. This thread is not about pushing one type of diaper over another it is about people trying to handle life with a twist. I too wear cloth diapers almost exclusively, but disposables are just to handy at times. Welcome back and it is so nice to hear an upbeat attitude amongst so many that still struggle with our condition. Stick around. Papa


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 4:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:47 pm
Posts: 17
Actually I find the debilitating nerve damage and arthritis left from meningitis more of a challenge than urinary issues. But I get along as best I can. I just got back from an air show at the shore and spent 2 nights in a hotel room that I shared with a buddy of mine. It was a little frustrating when I saw him kick back in his t-shirt and boxers and I was going to lengths to keep my diaper concealed. I suppose he wouldn't have cared but I still take careful to be discreet. Recently I was evaluated by a neurologist. I wasn't expecting to hear about any miracle cure. But I did get reassurance that I won't get worse. And when I'm home alone, I can kick back in my t-shirt and diaper without getting upset over it - if only because I live alone. Other than that, I really don't have much to contribute here. Getting your head space in order can be more difficult than keeping your pants dry. So suck it up and do it - both with your head and your pants. If that counts as advice. Or words of wisdom. Or whatever. Thanks Papa great to hear from you! I really appreciate it.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:57 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 11:46 am
Posts: 24
That's a helpful post for me Jason, thank you! I wear disposables all day and use the most comfortable I have typically. They are a rather thin Molicare that isn't plastic faced and some days a XP slip that is plastic backed but has a better absorbancy. Regardless they are manageable but I do not consider them comfortable. When I get home and shower I often just don't put anything on for just a little bit, then I put my cloth diaper on and plastic panties. If I am up for a while I use the toilet the best I. can and many times that cloth diaper is still dry for bed. For a some reason the words you say are something I apparently have been "lying" to myself for years "this isn't a diaper it is an incontinent brief". It is very hard to tell yourself that when you have a bulky cloth diaper on with its associated cover! My wife of 40 years passed away last year but when she was still here. I didn't like her to see me diapered. Though sometime due to the summer heat, I would only be in my diaper and T shirt, I felt very self conscious. Now I am home by myself and it isn't too bad. The bottom line is that the cloth feels 100% better to me! Again thanks so much for your input
Tom


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 12:57 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:47 pm
Posts: 17
Hey Tom, so sorry to hear you lost your wife.

I fooled around for 7-8 years with disposable products. I settled on Abena briefs and then confydry 24/7 which gave me a better fit. I was to proud to ask for advice (actually too embarrassed) and then I found this site and ended up with cloth diapers. I still have a supply of disposables handy for traveling. My friends are also aging and having all kinds of problems so if it's not one thing, it's another. Some of my friends have much worse health issues. And some have just dropped dead. I can't obsess over any health issues; i just want to make the most of what I have left and I hope you can do the same. The internet is great because you can ask anything and still maintain your privacy.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 6:54 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1943
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Jason, it is good to see that you adapted so quickly to cloth diapers. As others have noted, you accepted your incontinence and then did something about it. Obviously you were willing to take a chance and experiment to find what worked best for you. I also am a somewhat recent cloth diaper convert and use cloth at night. Once I determined which cloth diaper and fold combination worked best for me it was all downhill from there. I have not experienced a wet bed in over 8 months!

--John


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 7:24 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 11:46 am
Posts: 24
Thank you for your condolences Jason it means a great deal to me. This isn't a diaper related reply but could apply to many. You don't know what you have until you don't t have it anymore! I wish I treated her as a valued gem everyday. Also you have made an excellent point others have health problems much greater than wetting themselves as even visible on this forum, I have no complaints. Thanks much to all.
Tom


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 1:38 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:24 pm
Posts: 410
Tom, I lost my wife of 28 years 19 years ago. Six months after she died I went to a friend whos husband had died 10 years before and asked "Does this ever get better?" She replied "No, it only gets different." That is the truth. It never gets better even after all this time, just different. You have a soul mate here.... I understand, I still cry at times even though I remarried 4 years ago. Wife understands. Papa


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 1:47 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:24 pm
Posts: 410
Tom, I wrote two replies because there were two separate issues you mentioned. You said bulky cloth diapers with plastic pants makes you feel more like its a diaper than thin disposables. Thin or thick, cloth or paper you wear them because you wet them... they are all diapers, period. Forget looks/material as long as it make you secure/comfortable. It is the bottom line. Papa


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:18 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:47 pm
Posts: 17
Tom, the only thing I have to add that I haven't already said is that a cloth diaper is more comfortable than a disposable diaper when it is wet. The cloth diaper will wick and spread the moisture. The disposable diaper clumps and the material wads up and stays between your legs. If you change every couple of hours it won't be a problem but you'll go through a lot of diapers, which is both inconvienent and expensive. I can use a thick cloth diaper easily for 6-8 hours and be comfortable the whole time. This works for me but I understand it's personal and everyone finds their own solution.


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