www.incontinentsupport.org

Wetters,

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Granted, males are more likely to be juvenile enuretics; however, females give birth, which puts them at greater risk. And, as you discovered, anybody who has a stroke can become enuretic.

If you can see incontinence as just another item on the long list of medical problems common to all humans, then dealing with it effectively, both from a psychological perspective and from simply doing what you need to do to get on with life, can become admirable. If negative feelings hinder coping effectively, they can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Negative feelings can lead to a downward spiral; you deserve better.

I have gastroparesis. Sticking to my diet causes me to have a colon blockage, and the medicine for this makes me soil myself in my sleep. It's exasperating. It's embarrassing. But I refuse to beat myself up because of it. I wear the heaviest protection I have, allow it to do its job, and clean myself up each morning.

I hope you can develop a similar determination. You're bigger than this. Go for it.

Last night, for what I think is the first time in my life, I slept through a wetting episode. I see this new development as another decline, and I've been wet every night now for a week. However, it is what it is, and so be it. I have good protection, and other than it being embarrassing, my night wetting is truly not a problem in my daily life.

I'm physically not the person I used to be in some ways, but that doesn't mean that I'm not a good person or that I can't or shouldn't enjoy the good things that life has to offer. I'm beginning to focus on everything that's good about me - and remembering that among my other small life victories, I've had great success with mitigating my daytime urge incontinence.

Wetters

Having been incontinent for over 30 years (due to MS0 as well are a lot of other problems, I serious suggest you look on the bright side of this. Most people end up getting up for the loo at least once a night and you can sleep right through! That in itself is a bonus!

Earlier this year my bladder decided not to void at all - night or day. up to then I had had a lot of 'drainage' at night. Now I have to get up in the night and pop a catheter in to drain the bladder - in bright light to be able to see. I envy you ability to sleep through!

Hi wetters,

Even though this is posted on the female page and I'm a man, I would like to tell you that I recognise your feeling. In 90% of all wet nights I wake up -but too late - when it happens. This week I didn't wake up at all at that moment. I had mixed feelings. Yes, it's not in my head, something is not correct. On the other hand it was a point of acceptance as well. It is what it is at this moment. I MUST wear the right protection, and most likely I will be wearing it for a long time as well. I decided not to question /blame myself. How can I response or react when I even don't wake up? I praised myself that I was correctly protected as I was on a business trip. I took a shower in the morning, got dressed and nobody could see what happened. I started the day with a smile as if nothing had happened. Stay positive Wetters

Thanks, bobcooper - I very much appreciate your thoughtful comments. I'm just feeling somewhat isolated. My thought is that very few women have night episodes, and my husband is less than understanding and tolerant. I'm still coming to terms with my new post-stroke normal (it's been 3 years). My wetting episodes were much less frequent and severe prior to my having a stroke, and I still have some motor skills and balance issues, which are most likely permanent. After my childhood bedwetting subsided, I was completely dry for 11 years, until I had a permanent relapse at age 25, 4 years into my marriage. It's been hard for me to be okay with it that my wet nights happen more often now and that I need a higher level of protection than I did before, and that it's likely permanent.

Wetters

Wetters,

I regretted reading that your husband is not supportive. This must add to your burden. No wonder your posts come across as feeling alone and isolated. In our clumsy way, we all want to support you, to applaud your successes and lift you up when incontinence gets you down. This is the place to vent, and to seek support from folks who fully understand what you must endure day in and day out.

Thank you, Patrick. Btw, how did your Tues. appt. go?

Wetters

Wetters,

My appointmment last Tuesday was interesting, in the sense of a Chinese curse. As a patient, I am caught in the midst of a battle between my medical insurance company and my provider, whose executives have decided to offer their own medical insurance. This conflict would be nice if I could read about it in the paper; being stuck in the cross-fire is not so much fun. My therapists have been invaluable in guiding my experiments with different medications and coping strategies. Colon massage, which they taught me, has been particularly useful.

Thanks for asking.

Patrick, I'm sorry that you're forced to deal with all of that, and I fully understand your frustration. I get my medical care through a healthcare cooperative (read, HMO), which in recent months has been very enthusiastically promoting its services as "coverage and care". I've always felt that this is a conflict of interest, but I basically fell into the plan back in 1989 when I wasn't sick ever and my new employer (who provided three medical insurance plans to choose from), decided that changes were coming. I had only been working there 6 months when the office manager announced at a staff meeting that the firm would no longer fully subsidize the Blue Cross or the Blue Shield plans, but would continue to pay the full premium on an employee's behalf for GHC.

I had chosen the Blue Shield plan, and in my mind, being required to subsidize my medical insurance translated to a pay cut, and since I was never sick and thus had never even come close to meeting my deductible, let alone my stop-loss, and I had no history/relationship with a physician (I didn't even have a PCP) that I would miss terribly if he/she was no longer part of my provider network, I was more than eager to make the leap to GHC.

Now, with all the medical issues that I've had since just after signing on with GHC, I truly am locked into them.

Wetters

Make that wet nights. After my previous success, I haven't had a dry night in weeks. Did okay camping last week, though. I slept on a cot with a bedpad and of course wore Abri-Flex pull-ups.

Wetters