www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello ladies!

So I've been wearing protective underwear daily since October. Now that it's summer, I'm starting to notice I just don't look right in certain clothes. None of my jeans really fit me well anymore (except my lounge around don't really care jeans). My shorts are kinda short, so there's that. I have a couple dresses that are long but not many.

Am I going to need a new wardrobe to be more discreet? Did y'all have to get a new wardrobe?

Hi, Alaina. I hope you don't mind my responding to you, even though I'm not female. But the reality is that your questions are universal.

The answer to your question will depend on two things:
1. The kind of protection you're wearing
2. How form-fitting your clothes (pants) are

If you need fairly light protection, but more than a pad, you may find that the Depend Silhouette pull-ons will do just fine. I mention those because they're the most discrete and underwear-like of that ilk. I often wear the Depend Real Fit (the version for guys) and I dare say no one can tell.

Now, that said, it is true that any incontinence product larger than a pad will change your shape, even if only slightly. If you're wearing pants, shorts, or skirts that fit you tightly before, well, that could be an issue. It's not something others are likely to notice, but things will fit you differently.

So, with that very general primer, perhaps you can provide some more information about your situation.

-RMS

Alaina,

If you need protection from a taped diaper, look for those which use SAP crystals for absorbency rather than pulp fluff. These diapers are much thinner and are good for discreet wear. Good examples of these diapers are the Tena Slip Maxi and the Unique Wellness Superio Signature diapers.

I found these diapers to be very useful for wear with tailored business clothing or thin athletic attire. Many women find that they permit them a greater selection of styles of clothing.

Good luck!

--John

I don't mind a response from guys at all. I don't have anybody to really share my concerns with so I'll take advice from anybody and see if it works.

My situation is this: I have urinary loss of control maybe once or twice every 10 days or so. When it starts, it sticks around for a couple days. They happen whether I have a full bladder or an empty bladder, it's random. And the 10 day thing is just a calculation. They can come 1 day, leave the next, come back 2 days later and stick around for 3 days, and I not see it again for another 3 weeks or something. But when I get them I cannot stop the flow, so I do need more protection than a pad. However, I need something that's super easy to get on and off because I do make it to the restroom 90%+ of the time.

Right now I'm wearing Tena underwear. I've never over wet them, but one wetting and they're done, which does kinda scare me a bit if I'm down to my last one. They get the job done but I just want to explore options and see if anything is better.

Oh, and my jeans are pretty form fitting. Shorts not so much, but some of them are pretty short and I do thing it shows through the leg cuffs. I know I've had to push the back down a little to hide under my jeans.

With jeans, you might just bump up one size...I did that and all was well.
Shorts with longer legs work OK

I've seen some women with inco wear lycra or compression shorts, with a long T or top...still look stylish and femine, too.
Some women prefer skirts, I'm told, to make changes easier and to hide bulk they may not be comfortable with.
As to noting other men who may wear...I just don't, nor do I really care.

At the beginning, it's natural to feel everyone notices your 'padding'. In fact, even my 'trained eye' cannot detect
it unless I'm told or take a while to look.

Besides...who is looking? Others are too self-absorbed and not even aware nor even care that you may be padded/diapered.
In time, we inco folks come to realize this, tho we still are discreet. It's just that the anxiety of wearing in public decreases
markedly with time and few (if any) are the wiser. Count on it.

They only way they will "know" is if you tell them...or by other private or intimate contact. And that is reserved only if the
relationship is special and if there is considerable trust in the other.

Right, but the thing is things just look off. Like my butt is rounded weirdly in it. I'm sure one of the girls would know what I'm talking about. People noticing a diaper may not be easy, but thinking "what's wrong with her butt" probably does happen. Is this like the end of the line for me wearing cute jeans or shorts that look good on me?

I wouldn't think so Alainaluvsu, I still wear mine! Puffy

_________________
Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Hi, Alaina, and welcome! RMS said everything that I would have, had I not been away for the weekend ( I couldn't have said it better). I'm so happy to have another woman member come aboard. There are a few of us - three in addition to you have joined the forum recently. I look forward to some great discussions.

Wetters

Thank you I'm looking forward to getting to know y'all!

Hi Alaina,
Welcome to our group! I hope you will find us to be congenial and helpful.

As for your original question- no, you only need new undies.

On a more serious note, if you wear snug-to-tight jeans you will need to go up a size. That should give you enough room to be comfortable as well as still feeling attractive. Warning: the idea of wearing pullups or briefs with lots of SAP only works until it gets wet. Then they balloon up much more then those with little to no SAP.

If you wish to stay trim looking, you will need to keep several diapers on your person "just in case" as the thinner diapers don't last all day as you have found out. In time, you will grow to understand how long you can go between changes with your routine and the brand of diapers you use most. "On your person" may mean that you only keep one in your purse/briefcase/backpack/laptop case, but there are more in the car trunk for back up. We all do this as even the most dependable diapers do leak sometimes, and it's always at the most inopportune moment.

Another consideration is color- wet spots on dark colors don't show as much. I have black denim jeans for that reason.

_________________
- Tom