www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello. This is my first time posting on the board. I have a question that I would be very grateful for any answers or suggestions to. My bladder incontinence problems have recently got a lot worse, and it has taken a long long while to find a doctor who seemed willing to look into it. Finally I've been referred to a urologist but whilst I'm waiting for that, I'm trying to find what is the best kind of protection at the moment.

My first question is, if there is a diaper style pad (ie one with the fastenable sticky tapes at the sides) and another style pad (ie one you wear in your underwear but without tapes) which are sold as having the same absorbencies, is the diaper style pad always going to be the more leak-proof / secure etc? In some situations when I need maximum protection I feel I definitely need a diaper but in other situations when I might be able to manage with a bit less protection I'm wondering if it would be better to use a pad. But obviously the most important thing is not to risk leaks...

It is difficult to know what I should wear sometimes because the amount of control I have seems to vary. One problem i have is that I leak urine in a way that seems like stress incontinence, and this problem is always the same. However, I also have the problem of desperate urges to go to the toilet and not being able to hold on. This is a bit variable - at the moment, when the urge comes on I sometimes lose control within a few seconds or at other times I can hang on up to five minutes. Either way, this means that when I am away from home, and also at night, I need one of the more absorbent kinds of protection because I usually end up fully wetting before I reach a toilet, and i have found the kind of diaper that works well for this. (It doesn't help that I have a slight mobility impairment so sometimes can't get really fast to a toilet...)

But when I am at home or somewhere I can run instantly to a toilet within seconds, there are still many times I do make it before a full accident, and I'm wondering if I should be wearing lighter protection in these situations, and if so whether it would be better to use a pad with underwear than a diaper? Sadly, I'm coming to realise that now even if I'm at home, practically every time I need to go I will lose quite a bit of urine before I get to the toilet, so maybe I should just accept that I need a diaper-style pad all the time... I'm not sure...

I'm sorry for such a long post and would be very grateful for any suggestions.

Bernadette. Congratulations for taking the first step of many. You have realised that you have a need for protection. A lot of folks with control or leakage problems are very wary when it comes to seeking help and getting protection that first time.

Now comes the part we all have to go through... finding the right type and level of protection. There are lots of different brands out there, so it can lead to a lot of trials and shopping around. What works for one person may not work for others.

Most of the "best" brands of diapers and pullups are available by mail-order online. There are great stores like XPMedical or Magic Medical which carry a large variety of products. It really depends on what you prefer to have.

When getting started most folks tend to use what they can find readily available in stores and pharmacies. This usually leads to two things... #1: Depends, #2: Store brands. Both of which aren't really that great. I mean, they do the job in a pinch... but you will be changing quite often if you use them.

As far as the choice between a "pad" and a "diaper", the medical community sees it this way... if you are wearing a diaper, you are expected to use the diaper every time. If you wear a pad or a pullup that leaves some chance of making it to the toilet. I have a few incontinent friends who use pullups during the daytime and diapers at night. As far as my life goes, I gave up any hope of ever regaining control years ago... so I wear diapers full-time. It all really depends on how bad your problems are.

If I may suggest... check out XPMedical.com give them a call if you'd like... their employees are very nice and considerate. See about ordering some samples from them so you can try out different things. It may take some time to sort things out... but be positive and patient... do what you can to protect yourself and try to continue your life as if nothing happened.

Hopefully things will turn around for you soon.

Puddleguy has given some good advice. You just need to find what products works best for you. Finding the cause of incontinence is only one part of the puzzle,......some of the other parts puzzle include treatment if possible, and finding the right type of product that fits your needs. Another good company is HDIS. This company will also send you samples of different products to try. www.dmponline.com

Hope this helps.

John

Bernadette.. The bit about wearing the brief means you have to use it may not necessarily be true.. That is true for protection such as tranquility, molicare, abena etc.. where the tape tabs are hard to remove once on. However, Tena Ultra and Attends breathable have refastnenable tabs. I wear breifs all the time, not because i have total loss of control, but because i am a male and find briefs protect better in all situations. I still use the toilet when i can. They are easy to get up and down.. however, what is said is generally true.

You should not resign yourself to using the protection unless you are absolutely sure youre incontience will not go away.

Reading your post.. it does sound like a brief will protect the best. The pullup may be useful if you dont lose that much.

Have you seen a doctor yet? The doctor may have some idea on how to help. You may have OAB..which may be treatable, and some have found great success with treatments such as medicaiton and surgery.

In the meantime, yes, proteciion would be helpful.. id suggest getting some pullups and breifs and experimenting. The advice given about. contacting HDIS or XP medical was sound..they often have sample packs of products for you to try.

Above all.. do not let your bladder troubles get you down. Incontinence does not make one infantile, nor is it something to be ashamed of. IT is a medical condditon that happens for reasons beyond one'es control.

Thank you all for the advice and support, and taking time to reply!

I’m sorry I should have said in my post that I am actually living in the UK, so some of the websites johnstone and PuddleGuy mentioned I can’t order from as they are in the US – I’m sorry you went to the trouble of specifying the US sites, I should have given my location. But it’s still useful to look to see the products, and many of the brands on those sites are available in Europe on other sites. So thank you.

I started off looking at what I could find in shops, and I did try Depends from there as PuddleGuy suggests. However what is available in shops where I live is not absorbent enough for me anymore (I used Depends for a while, but the more absorbent kinds aren’t available in shops here as I think they are in the US, and now my problems are worse the kinds available aren’t absorbent enough). Pull-up styles generally don't absorb enough.

For anyone else in the UK, I have ordered some protection from a site called Gompels, www.gompels.co.uk. They are good value when you need to buy larger quantities and have a big range of different absorbencies, and deliver quickly.

That is interesting about how the medical community views diapers v. pads. I hadn’t realized that. I do still try to hold on and to make it to the toilet whenever I can, whatever I am wearing, and as sociologygeek says I find it can usually refasten tapes on a diaper at least once (also that I can sometimes slide a diaper down and up again without undoing the tapes – it makes it slightly looser afterwards but I always wear very close fitting underwear over the top and it seems to be fine so far). However it’s useful to know about the medical point of view especially for when talking to doctors.

As far as medical help goes – yes I’ve been referred to a urologist now and am waiting to hear about when I’ll have an appointment. It has taken me a long time to find a GP who seemed to take my problems seriously but thankfully I have finally found one who is helpful. In the meantime I have found that wearing a better level of protection really does make a difference to your quality of life… thank you very much for all the support there is on here which has really helped me to come to see that it’s okay to admit that you need that and has also given me more confidence to persevere to get medical help. I’m very grateful.

By the way, sociologygeek I really like your signature line!

Bernadette,

Thank you! Mother Theresa is the model of charity..no question about it..

About you living in the UK... no problem.. try this one..

http://www.hartmanndirect.co.uk/index.php/cPath/1_85

The site probably is local.. since it offers prices in the pound..

if you live in the UK..you should have no problem finding a store that sells Abena, since they are based in Denmark

I can see by your name that you have Catholic heritage yourself.. i have a cousin who named her daughter Bernadette!

Um..on Gompetts.. i would probably stay away from them .. they offer generic brand products..at least products most of us incontinent folks have never heard of.. we have found as a general rule its is better to stay away from off-brands. On the other hand, European incontience products are much better than american ones. Molicare and Abena both find their home in Europe, and many say they beat out any other adult diaper. From what you have said, i don't know if you would really need the absorbency of a Molicare Super Plus.. but, perhaps Some of the lighter molicare on the website would do you fine. They also do offer pullups..but again, those are only if you only leak small to moderate amounts..they are useless for large floods.

Bernadette,
Welcome to our forum! I'm glad to see you're taking advantage of our forum and posting. I see you've already received several comments to your question.
I did not realize that the UK had a limited supply of incontinent supply sources. We have another active poster named Sandy. Being a female, she can offer a lot of suggestions to help you. I've not seen a post by her for a while. She's probably busy or on vacation.
If you have any other questions or comments, please feel free to ask. I'm sure you'll get a quick answer.
Again, welcome!! ................Paul Martin

I have talked to a few people over in the UK. From speaking with them I can reccomend you try Tena slips or Kendall Lille Supreme if you can find them. As far as I have heard the Tena slip is readily available and works quite well.

Hi Bernadette
Sorry I've been over the top busy with work I'm a little late jumping in here. I'm Sandy one of the moderators and one of the few women on this board. Believe it or not you are Blessed to live in the UK. The Protection choices you have over there are far in away better then most of our options over here. I'd love to talk with you more but I'm pressed for time right now. (in fact my name is being called again ) but in short Look into Tena Slip and or Tena slip maxi If you would like send me a "PM" or private message Talk to you soon ..............................Sandy