Rope,
Over the past years I have had three videourodynamics exams. The embarrassment is bad enough; the pain of bladder spasms is far worse.
I remember those spasms as though they were still happening. The Botox injections only gave me temporary relief. I had what my urologists called vesicle/sphincter dyssynergia (my external urinary sphincter clamped shut when my bladder spasmed) causing terrible pain. Rope, if this is happening to you, my heart goes out to you. There is nobody I hate so much as to wish such pain on them. Although I remember the staff working on me, taking pictures and remarking about this or that reading, I was in so much pain that I didn't think to feel embarrassment.
I guess this is one barrier between myself and the AB/DL folks. To this day I wince at the memory of how much I hurt and the fear that it could happen again. I hope I can joke about my incontinence and take it and myself lightly. But, underneath the humor lies the indelible memory of just how much pain incontinence has caused me. Incontinence will never be fun-and-games for me.
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