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Support for dealing with incontinence
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 Post subject: Re: Quality of life?
PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2016 1:59 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
kt,

1. Although my family and friends know all about my incontinence, because they lived with me through several urinary surgeries, I simply do not bring it up. From time to time someone will ask me if I need to find a handicapped restroom, to which I respond yes or no. Bi-lateral Meniere's disease, which causes intense vertigo, with Tumarkin's episodes, and stomach paralysis, which causes nausea, vomiting and bowel upset, are far more threatening.

2. The medications I have been prescribed for incontinence were all side effect, no cure, not even a small improvement. I am on a fairly stiff medication regimen for my other medical conditions, which pretty much precludes any further experimentation with the medications used for incontinence.

3. My social life is more hindered by vertigo and GI upset than it is by incontinence. Tumarkin's episodes (Tumarkin's otolithic crises) are far more disabling. In a Tumarkin's episode, the patient simply collapses, with no prior aura, no pain, no warning, and no loss of consciousness. When this happens, I'd better be wearing sturdy protection, because my bladder and bowel always erupt. When I'm alone, I need 3-4 hours to recover; if I am out when a Tumarkin's hits, the need to relate, to respond appropriately to my surroundings, can extend the recovery time to 5-6 hours.

4. My body image is more threatened by Meniere's and stomach paralysis than it is by incontinence and the need to wear diapers.

5. I am proud of how well I manage in public without imposing my medical difficulties on folks around me. However, Meniere's disease has greatly degraded my hearing. Although I wear dual hearing aids, where others hear intelligible conversation, I hear murmur or hubbub. I do feel very alone and unable to contribute when I'm in a room filled with noise and talk.

6. I wear washable diapers and plastic pants as much as possible. I always return from vacation with a rash, from being forced to use disposables and being prevented from washing as much as necessary to keep my skin clear.


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 Post subject: Re: Quality of life?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 3:49 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:57 pm
Posts: 15
1. Do you feel incontinence is freely spoken about? Or would you consider it a taboo?

I would consider it a taboo. Nobody wants to think about bodily functions.

2. What are the main physical side effects you suffer, from the condition, products, drugs etc?

Diaper rash (and most likely, continuing weakening of my voiding muscles because I'm not making an effort to avoid using my diapers to void). Also, it's slightly harder to engage in strenuous physical exercise.

3. How does it affect you socially?

I work in cramped spaces where I have to be in close proximity to people, sometimes pressed against them, and I still feel discomfort because I don't like people feeling my diapers. I'm very conscious of my smell and make sure to wear strong scents so I don't smell like wet diapers, and I take probably excessive measures to make sure that I don't smell in general. If I fill my diapers, I generally make a quick and brutal exit.

4. Would you say your body image changed/distorted?

Actually, no. I would say my other worries about body image became less relevant because I could be slim and jacked and my incontinence would still define me to others far more than that did.

5. Has being incontinent affected your self esteem? If yes in what way?

Yes. I've always struggled with attracting people I find attractive. When I started experiencing incontinence I collapsed into a deep depression (I was already on my way to clinical depression, which didn't help) because I thought I'd be socially and romantically excluded for the rest of my life. That hasn't been the case, but I still struggle with the after-effects.

6. What products do you use? Does effective management of the condition increase your self esteem?

I use fairly high-absorbency disposable diapers and cloth diapers of various brands. Effective management of the condition increases my self-esteem, insofar that given I am completely incontinent I would be unable to leave the house if I wasn't effectively managing my condition, and most of the activities that increase my self-esteem require me to leave the house.


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 Post subject: Re: Quality of life?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 8:02 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 02, 2017 11:44 am
Posts: 51
1. Do you feel incontinence is freely spoken about? Or would you consider it a taboo?

It's most definitely a taboo subject. I personally have managed to consider it less taboo than others, because I developed this certain mindset that allows me to step more firmly on the ground. I'm more confident than before and I don't hide my issues. I don't brag about them, but I hide nothing from nobody - everyone has their own issues and I'm ready to show handicapped side of myself as well, because I know that I make up for my incapabilities in other areas. As for now, I'm talking freely about it. When I'm around people that I know and that I like, I actually tend to even joke around about. I still consider it as a curse that has happened to me, but I realized that I can make a decent living despite those problems.

2. What are the main physical side effects you suffer, from the condition, products, drugs etc?

I'm double incontinent, so really I don't think I should answer this question.

3. How does it affect you socially?

I work in an office with many people. I only started to work there after I have managed to overcome my depression that was caused by incontinent. People that I work with know that I'm incontinent, but I managed to get myself in a decent shape. I take care of how I look, I still flirt with girls from time to time. I have basically turned my personality by 180 degrees and I don't feel this social pressure as I have used to before when I was still an lost kid in a harsh world for adults with incontinence to overcome on top of many other things, that have been bothering me back then.
4. Would you say your body image changed/distorted?
I actually improved my image by tons. I feel so much better about myself and by being jacked and handsome - even though I don't like to describe myself as that, I really put a lot of time into my shape and how I look, so incontinence isn't really bothering my anymore as it used and actually I think it's what has helped me to increase my self-image.

5. Has being incontinent affected your self esteem? If yes in what way?

Yes! I had huge problems with my self esteem back in the days. Like really huge. I've been in a therapy for a really long time and I was fighting my demons, but it actually turned out to be a great thing. I'm not sure if I would be able to become who I am now if not for incontinence. It's not that I start appreciating being double-incontinent, because I never will. I still consider it a curse, that has devastated many years in my twenties and also heavily limited me socially when I was in my teens, but I gotta say that things like this, that push you to the very edge and make you question the reason of your existence, can be a huge game changer in terms of your life quality and who you really are.

6. What products do you use? Does effective management of the condition increase your self esteem?

I wear diapers for 24/7 and this is about that. For some time now I only order from hexa & co and as they are cheap and reliable. I would say, that they doesn't increase my self esteem and actually never did. What has increased my self esteem was realizing that there are important things in life, that are worth pursuing. Getting jacked at gym and having sexual encounters with many women, when I was around 30 years old has definitely changed my perspective about life and greatly boosted my self-confidence as well. Products are products, I wear them because I need them, but they didn't help me become who I am, that's for sure.


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