Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Thu Sep 17, 2015 5:22 am
Hi Mike
It does get easier
pick some on you trust and can talk to explain why you have to wear most family and friends will under stand. explain that meds work for some people and for others they experience really bad side effects so diapers are a better choice.
Being able to talk about diapers and IC with some one really helps and over time you will be able talk about your condition easier with other people you need to tell.
Talking to people here also helps even though you will probably never meet them but talking and asking questions with some one who is going through the same thing you are helps.
It does get easier
pick some on you trust and can talk to explain why you have to wear most family and friends will under stand. explain that meds work for some people and for others they experience really bad side effects so diapers are a better choice. Being able to talk about diapers and IC with some one really helps and over time you will be able talk about your condition easier with other people you need to tell.
Talking to people here also helps even though you will probably never meet them but talking and asking questions with some one who is going through the same thing you are helps.
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Thu Sep 17, 2015 6:59 am
Rob,
How long did it take you to get to that point?
How long did it take you to get to that point?
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Thu Sep 17, 2015 10:34 am
Sandy My incontinence was over night. I went in for a simple surgery and woke up in a mess. I now live with chronic pain, which I have a interm stim and hand full of pills to try to control it. I have had 7 surgeries since, to try and correct what happened. My incontinence ranges from a slow drain to a down pour. This is day or night, so it 24/7 coverage. For me it took my wife tell me that we have tried and this is the way it going to be for the rest of our life's so lets get on with it. I was blessed to have her because, between the pain and the constant down pour, tiring all kinds of diapers to find ones that work and we can afford put and unbelievable amount of pressure on us. Yes I have excepted that I'm incontinent but it took a couple of years to get to that point. Unless you have our issues you have know idea what we all go through just to go to the store or visit a friend.
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Thu Sep 17, 2015 11:09 am
Having a supportive wife or spouse makes managing incontinence so much easier. I have managed to handle my incontinence for over 10 years without my family knowing about it. My wife helps me in many ways. Paul Martin
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:19 pm
Paul Martin wrote:Having a supportive wife or spouse makes managing incontinence so much easier. I have managed to handle my incontinence for over 10 years without my family knowing about it. My wife helps me in many ways. Paul Martin
Absolutely true, my wife has been great throughout this whole ordeal. Heck, she is a great help in all areas, not just this one!!!
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Thu Jan 14, 2016 6:24 am
Pretty early on TBH.
The pain bothers me more these day. The inconetince I rarely think anything of.
The pain bothers me more these day. The inconetince I rarely think anything of.
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Thu Jan 14, 2016 11:18 am
Hello everyone, I finally accepted my problem last November after a vacation trip that caught me with wet underwear several times. I had baggy shorts on that fortunately didn't show the wetness. But there was a subtle "scent" that horrified me. A trip home by plane was pure torture.
... I guess I have a "problem"... A month of waiting to see the doctor was pure hell. Especially after reading up on the fun things a Urologist would be introducing me to. I saw the GP back in December and I think he tuned in on my terror of the Urologist. We discussed prostate issues and he prescribed meds. Diagnosis; Over Active Bladder/ Urge with incontinence. I'm taking the incontinence issue slowly as it doesn't seem there are serious physiological symptoms. The huge cost of the full battery of tests and my outright fear of them is a real setback as far as a "cure" for me.
I'm all in on a simple cure. Then I would say I don't have a problem. Unfortunately It really appears there's no simple cure. At 60 something I'm old enough to say "I'm tired". I don't want to fight it. I've been dealing with incontinence for 15 years. I just hadn't "accepted" it. So now, if there's an easy fix, I'll do it. If the fix gets as involved as what most of you have gone thru I doubt I'll be pursuing it.
I only need to wear daytime protection if I'm out for extended periods. No big deal. My night time issues aren't a big deal either. I've been dealing with them for years and they're no longer a consideration to me. I finally informed everyone I'm directly involved with of my incontinence. The fact that they took the news indifferently allowed me to consider "incontinence" as just another ailment on a list of things that seems to grow monthly. At least my incontinence doesn't hurt. I'll keep an eye open for more serious symptoms pointing to a dangerous development in my bladder drama, but till then I've ACCEPTED it and manage. Ted
... I guess I have a "problem"... A month of waiting to see the doctor was pure hell. Especially after reading up on the fun things a Urologist would be introducing me to. I saw the GP back in December and I think he tuned in on my terror of the Urologist. We discussed prostate issues and he prescribed meds. Diagnosis; Over Active Bladder/ Urge with incontinence. I'm taking the incontinence issue slowly as it doesn't seem there are serious physiological symptoms. The huge cost of the full battery of tests and my outright fear of them is a real setback as far as a "cure" for me.
I'm all in on a simple cure. Then I would say I don't have a problem. Unfortunately It really appears there's no simple cure. At 60 something I'm old enough to say "I'm tired". I don't want to fight it. I've been dealing with incontinence for 15 years. I just hadn't "accepted" it. So now, if there's an easy fix, I'll do it. If the fix gets as involved as what most of you have gone thru I doubt I'll be pursuing it.
I only need to wear daytime protection if I'm out for extended periods. No big deal. My night time issues aren't a big deal either. I've been dealing with them for years and they're no longer a consideration to me. I finally informed everyone I'm directly involved with of my incontinence. The fact that they took the news indifferently allowed me to consider "incontinence" as just another ailment on a list of things that seems to grow monthly. At least my incontinence doesn't hurt. I'll keep an eye open for more serious symptoms pointing to a dangerous development in my bladder drama, but till then I've ACCEPTED it and manage. Ted
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Sat Jan 23, 2016 6:27 pm
It probably took me 15 years before I decided to truly try to accept (and embrace) I need to wear diapers. It was at least a few more years before I really learned that acceptance.
When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. When life puts you into diapers, you learn to like wearing a diaper. So simple, yet so very difficult.
When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. When life puts you into diapers, you learn to like wearing a diaper. So simple, yet so very difficult.
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Wed Mar 23, 2016 6:14 am
Thinking back to when my bladder first started to act up, I would say I totally accepted I needed to wear diapers was around the 4th month mark a few weeks after my urologist visit.
Re: How long before you excepted your incontinence issues
Wed Mar 23, 2016 5:26 pm
I don't think I'm even close to accepting it. I just walked into my closet and saw my "collection" of products that I've accumulated over the past few months trying new things, diapers, pull ups, guards, and my normal underwear and I feel ridiculously overwhelmed. I beat myself up a little bit saying how it looks like an old mans closet. I get angry when I have to go so frequently and when I leak, I feel like its entirely my fault. If only I wasn't so fat, if only I could hold it, if only I didn't need to drink so much, if only, if only, if only.
Its frustrating the amount of mental gymnastics I have to go through to reach any point of acceptance. Anything less than underwear feels like giving up to me, makes me feel unattractive and gross. I've talked with my therapist about it and its been a bit of help trying to accept it. I also realize that I've had issues for a long time with urinary frequency, since I was a boy and would get in trouble and accused of attention whoring when I would need to use the restroom, as well as bedwetting. I just wish it wasn't the case and I could be normal. I wish doctors would take me seriously. I wish I didn't get my pants and underwear wet, I wish I was normal, I wish, I wish, I wish.
Its all pretty futile and useless to talk in "If only"'s and "I wish"'s. I know that, but in moments of weakness, the frustration of being a 28 (well, almost 29 now) year old guy with incontinence issues is overwhelming and it gets to me. Cptsd does not help either. I just wish I could get to that point where its not as big of a deal. Its like, one day I'm fine, its okay, I'm managing my problem and seeking help for it. Other days I just get vehemently angry and beat myself up for being so weak and pathetic, maybe I'm faking it, like I was accused of when I was a kid, maybe I drank too much or ate something I wasn't supposed to, or maybe I'm being lazy, or maybe I'm not being dilligent enough. Maybe this, maybe that...
Its exhausting. I apologize for the vent and I'm not sure if this is even an appropriate thread or place for it, and thank you for reading it.
Its frustrating the amount of mental gymnastics I have to go through to reach any point of acceptance. Anything less than underwear feels like giving up to me, makes me feel unattractive and gross. I've talked with my therapist about it and its been a bit of help trying to accept it. I also realize that I've had issues for a long time with urinary frequency, since I was a boy and would get in trouble and accused of attention whoring when I would need to use the restroom, as well as bedwetting. I just wish it wasn't the case and I could be normal. I wish doctors would take me seriously. I wish I didn't get my pants and underwear wet, I wish I was normal, I wish, I wish, I wish.
Its all pretty futile and useless to talk in "If only"'s and "I wish"'s. I know that, but in moments of weakness, the frustration of being a 28 (well, almost 29 now) year old guy with incontinence issues is overwhelming and it gets to me. Cptsd does not help either. I just wish I could get to that point where its not as big of a deal. Its like, one day I'm fine, its okay, I'm managing my problem and seeking help for it. Other days I just get vehemently angry and beat myself up for being so weak and pathetic, maybe I'm faking it, like I was accused of when I was a kid, maybe I drank too much or ate something I wasn't supposed to, or maybe I'm being lazy, or maybe I'm not being dilligent enough. Maybe this, maybe that...
Its exhausting. I apologize for the vent and I'm not sure if this is even an appropriate thread or place for it, and thank you for reading it.