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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:08 am 
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Starting a new thread :idea: I thought it might help new people to except their condition if they knew how many of us veterans handled it.

For me it's been more of a life long issue with varying degrees as I grew up. So for me some form of protection has always been needed since day one of my life. So some of you that were thrust into this later in life would be far better to talk then myself.

So lets give this a whirl :D ..............Sandy :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:44 am 
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Location: MI
Well.. for me, i would'nt call it lifelong per se, because i have had some times where i did'nt have much of a problem..but, my childhood is filled with some not-so-wonderful memories of wetting accidents. It was simply assumed that i held it for too long or its because i was still a kid..but there was intermittenent bedwetting even into my teen years. it took me a long time to even acknowledge the fact that i was incontinent. For some reason, i could never seem to keep my underpants dry. They always had a spot on them. For the longest time. i thought it was normal for a guy to sometimes have wet spots on his underwear..but now, i'm no longer in denial. It struck home for me when after i first talked to my doctor about it in 2008 and the nurse on the phone to the urologist for the referall used the term "incontinence." I had used the term "urine dribbling, which seemed less stigmatizing. But as i thought about it, i really did realize that, yes, it is incontinece. Now, seeing as how im flooding almost every day, theres no room for denial. So, for me, simply acknowleging there was a problem, and that i needed protection was a big step. And i am glad that i made it . I just wish i made it sooner. As far as accepting the problem, I'm still working on that. Even though its been going on for an number of years, wearing different underwear than u have been for the past 23 years takes getting used to. But, it gets easier every day. Hardest part for me i find is the skin care issues..and the emotional issues that come with it.. but, emotional gets easier day by day.

So, in short while i'm not a veteran as such, i do have about 6 months where i've been wearing 24/7.. and i have made great strides in adjusting between then and now. it does get easier.

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:25 pm 
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I suppose you could say I got lucky... my incontinence developed gradually over several years so I had time to adjust to the lack of control and having to wear protection. It was still one heck of a big step when I had to start wearing 24/7... but honestly after the first few months it does get easier. You have to remember to focus on other things in your life and not let your incontinence control or consume you. Make friends, get a hobby, go to the movies, anything to take your mind off of the problem in your pants.

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~~PuddleGuy


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 Post subject: Accepting diapers
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:38 am 
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Sandy,
My incontinence started about 8 years ago, and it was abrubt. Not much warning and I was wearing them full time. It bothered my wife more than anything. Saw a bunch of doc's which none had much of an answer untill the neurologist said it was a nerve. Non-reversable, so I just accepted it. My wife came around, but it took about a year. ........Paul Martin

Oh, by the way, I'm not an english major, but I think your "except" should be "accept". (Don't mean to be picky)


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:19 am 
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Location: California
As my urge incontinence progressed over the last years, I now realize that I was always "behind the curve" in dealing with it. I was too slow to seek medical help, although that turned out to offer only false hope. Particularly, I was always too slow in "upgrading" my protection and the times that I used it as my incontinence became worse. This led to many, many embarrassments and much more stress than I realized at the time.

Now that I've concluded that I must be totally dependent on diapers, I think that I've turned a corner in my life.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:25 pm 
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My problems were also progressive. Started bedwetting as a teen again. Was diagnosed with diabetes. They are not sure but they guess my control problems were due to neuropathy. I have been in diapers night time since I was 16. I guess I accepted that pretty quickly since it was easy to keep it a secrete from everybody except my parents. Daytime problems started at 20. That was really hard to accept and deal with. It was urge incontinence and no protection was able to handle the flooding that happened. I did seek treatment and did timed voiding to avoid having to wear diapers. I was daytime protection free for a couple of years but then started having small accidents. Used guards for a while but the frequency of these accidents did go up and guards would sometimes leak if I was pointing the wrong way. I moved into pullups and used briefs for those times when frequent bathroom trips would be awkward or annoying. At age 27 I gave up and accepted diapers 24/7. Within a couple of years I became completely dependent on them. I need to go almost every half an hour, can only hold it for 10-20 sec, and only if I am concentrating on trying to hold it. I have a hard time pinpointing when I accepted my daytime incontinence. I think it was around the time I started wearing at least pullups 24/7 that I realised my situation was never going to improve and it was okay to just manage the leakage instead of freaking out making it to the toilet.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:15 am 
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jgrover,

You have the exact same type of urge incontinence that I have. Your description fits my bladder situation to a "T". However, my incontinece was caused by spinal nerve damage to L4, L5, & S1. In my opinion, anyone that has this type of incontinence will find using diapers is the best way to manage the problem. It's the acceptance of wearing diapers all the time along with the bladder problem that is not, nor will not get any better that is difficult to get over.

My situation is differnt than yours in that the cause of my incontinence is nerve damage. I've been bladder incontinent for over 20 years, and in addition to the existing never damage mentioned in the above, I also have degeneration of the spine which justs adds to the problem. I'm not bowel incontinent yet, but I'm close and this adds to the issue of being incontinent. Becoming bowel incontinent would have been more difficult to accept in the beginning some 20 years ago, but having been bladder incontinent for so many years it makes the acceptance and management of bowel incontinence easier.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:18 pm 
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My incontinence started about 10yrs ago with just leaking so put it out of mind then nighttime required a diaper then daytime got worse which I just won't give into diapers for days but as time moved on I use diapers most all the time the stigma and shame were hard to handle.I'am almost given in now.Johnstone and jgrover have the same incontinence as me.Thanks for letting me vent.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:39 pm 
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There are so many different types of incontinence that I'm not sure I will ever know what causes many of them. I guess the bottom line is always do what you feel works best for you and your situation. If you are comfortable living in the bathroom then so be it. It goes without saying, incontinence affects people in many different ways. Speaking for myself, I don't worry if I'm going to make it to the bathroom any more. I really don't even try any more. Even when I did try most the time I never made it. Now, I just let whatever is going to happen happen and change about every 6 hours in the day. Call it anything you want, but life is much easier since I made that adjustment. :) :lol: :) :lol: :) :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:01 pm 
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I still haven't. I still feel its my fault. I still feel I'm making it up. I still think tomorrow it will all stop.


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