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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 6:20 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:29 pm
Posts: 850
matthew..., I know it's tough to deal with at such a young age. I was 24 when my daytime incon started (I'm female and never had kids), and 25 when my bedwetting resumed. I truly think that you will develop day-to-day coping skills if you take your incon off the headline of your life and concentrate on living your life. Dive into your plans and dreams - and your relationship. You just need to find the protection that's most reliable for your needs and is as discreet as possible within those parameters, and plan a little for your days and nights. I'm not suggesting that you fire your therapist. I think having a one-on-one from time to time with a mental health professional is beneficial for everyone.

Wetters


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 11:27 am 
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Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 8:08 pm
Posts: 480
Location: York, Maine
Matthew, your post struck a chord with me. When I read your thoughts on here. I was screaming inside!!! "That's me!!!! That's me!!!!" It was like you were inside my head!!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 12:57 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2015 7:51 pm
Posts: 863
Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia
Matthew,

Wow, I could've easily written that on one of my bad days.... and it hit home. Just know you're not alone and that you can still be otherwise healthy, incontinence aside. I hope you find your Zen, so you can move on towards a healthy productive life. And yes, being overweight (I am too) doesn't help your issues, but that doesn't mean it is the cause of everything. Doctors are too quick to assume that if you are overweight, then everything else is because of that. Took me awhile to make them understand that my injury caused the inability to be as active, which led to the weight gain... not the other way around. Anyway, here's to hoping you have a better week!!!

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When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 2:04 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 09, 2015 12:23 am
Posts: 96
Thanks for the replies and advice. Its good to know that I'm not alone in this. I wish there was some magical cure, but you really need to work with the cards given to you. I'm trying to adapt as best as I can, there are just growing pains with it that are difficult to endure. In reality, it was just a moment of weakness, a bad day. Those bad days are becoming less frequent, I just needed to get it out of my head.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:28 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 6:15 am
Posts: 91
After my last consultation at the hospital during a follow up on my incontinence / bladder issues. When I walked out the door, I think I silently said to myself,
"Ok, it could be worse than this - I'll do what I have to do, and like I have done for a long time" I think at that point I finally came to an acceptance of my incontinence and the ways to deal with it.

Actually today I revealed that I suffer from incontinence to some friends of ours and that I have to wear protection for it, I also came clean with them due to the fact that we are going on summer vacation together with them in a few weeks, so it would be hard if not impossible to hide my protection in my room, taking out used diapers to the trash etc.

So after discussing with my wife what to do, it was starting to drive me crazy thinking of all the things that could go wrong, the awkward situation getting caught, they discovering my diapers. My wife agreed it would be better to tell up front rather than they discovered it by accident.
So I send them a pretty long text message explaining. got a message back that they appreciated my honesty....

Needless to say, it was a big relief coming clean.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2016 7:04 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1943
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
jms,

Good move, I think you made the right decision. :D

I have done the same.

--John


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2016 3:04 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2015 9:20 pm
Posts: 155
Hi Matthew,

I also started having urinary issues when i was about 24 - from very freaky terrifying car crash.....
I will admit that I have had many tearful nights of agony, frustration, and unbelievable pain across my entire body
from head to toe. As well as continence and urinary issues, i had very crazy spasms, and shaking and such....
walking was very difficult for a long while- and i end up having PTSD from all that mess

I do like how Mark over at http://www.wearing-adult-diapers.com/ (see diaper dynamo on youtube) puts it.
He seeks to remove the stigma associated with diapers and incontinence. We wear diapers for a variety of reasons
each of us, in dealing with it face our own stage of grief- denial/isolation, depression, anger, acceptance and bargaining
and can change into any of the stages of grief in any order at any time.
I have hated myself and loathed my condition and injuries and predicament and especially all the embarrassment and pain that followed my car crash.
I oft pondered and wondered about woulda/shoulda/coulda and crap.... but it really isn't all that helpful.
I still sometimes hate myself and my accidents - but in perspective of things, it aint that bad.
And frankly, diapers were much welcomed when i was in so much pain - have trouble moving and walking. Add some urinary frequency, urgency and pain- and some leakage- suddenly diapers sound like quite a nice blessing. No need to worry so much about getting up to the toilet all the time. And I can actually enjoy a movie
or something to help take my mind off my pain & problems. Without the diapers i would have to get up every single time, and crawl to the bathroom- practically live there.

The thing is though about urologists in peculiar- they seem to be some of the WORST doctors out there. and a lot of them offer practically no support or understanding.
And even few of like the physical therapists, pelvic floor therapists, etc I saw following my crash, they dismissed a lot of my symptoms and problems. I was glad to have
finally at least found good physical therapist and an understanding and competent PF therapist.

I try to move on. but it is still like i have strings attached- and am burdened by urinary issues and flashbacks and flareups... but in a way, i come to "enjoy" myself- in a zen like way.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:16 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:22 am
Posts: 12
I'm still in the process of accepting it. I've been 24/7 for just over 6 months now and it does get easier day by day but it's not the easiest thing to deal with either.

I'm double IC at the age of 39. I never saw this coming; I don't think that anyone ever does. I recently threw away all of my underwear that I was holding on to in case things got better. I decided that false hope wasn't in my best interest and that I needed to move on and accept my new predicament.

The hardest thing for me is that I work in a retail setting right now and sometimes little kids will ask a parent to take them to the bathroom because they 'really hafta go'. Seeing this just kinda feels like a punch in the gut for me. I know I can't help what's going on, but it's still saddening that a 3 or 4 year old can make it to the bathroom and I can't. I can't imagine being a parent and trying to potty train a toddler when you're IC. It must be the toughest thing in the world.

Still...each day is better than the last and moving on and living life is what diapers help us do each day. It sure beats the alternative of NOT having them!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 4:47 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 2:44 pm
Posts: 447
Location: Seattle area
Shanazon wrote:
I'm still in the process of accepting it...

it's still saddening that a 3 or 4 year old can make it to the bathroom and I can't. I can't imagine being a parent and trying to potty train a toddler when you're IC. It must be the toughest thing in the world.

I went through it while raising two little ones. They are now in college and I lived through it just fine. It turns out that knowing the location (and cleanliness) of every bathroom in the county has benefits for me as well.

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- Tom


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2018 10:32 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:01 pm
Posts: 554
Location: Florida
It looks like I'm a bit late in responding to this thread but I thought I'd add my experiences. About 6 years ago I started to notice that I was having significant wet spots in my underwear after urination. I didn't think too much about that tiny bit of leakage until it got so bad that the wetness was coming through to my pants. At that point I didn't know anything about incontinence products and asked my Wife to buy me some "pads". She had obviously seen the result of my leakage and was more than happy to help. She too knew nothing of incontinence products and purchased thin pads used for periods. The pads helped and for a while they worked OK and I was actually happy to have found a fix for my problem.

Well that was until things progressed and my leaks started to overwhelm the little pads I was using, at that point I knew I had to find something better. One day I was in WalMart and happened by the incontinence products section and noticed a box of Male Guards. I was as embarrassed as one could be but decided to give them a try and hurried with my embarrassing purchase through the self check out line. Again these Guards worked well for me for about a year but then I was starting to overwhelm them causing small leaks and was having to change much more frequently. After a few more leaks and even a few bedwetting incidents I finally acknowledged my problem and at my next doctors visit I mentioned this. After a few tests and a CT scan my doctor concluded that it was due to my significantly enlarged but non-cancerous prostate (i.e. BPH). He offered medication but admitted that it probably wouldn't be a 100% cure so I declined and realized I needed better protection. That's when I really learned about the whole world of incontinence products. I ended up increasing my protection from pads to pull-ups, then pads and pull-ups. These products worked OK for another year or so but as my incontinence progressed, and a few more serious leaks happened I finally moved on to tape up diapers 24/7 and what a relief! No more second guessing if I was going to have a serious leak or wet the bed.

At that point my anxiety dropped to near zero and I think that is when I truly accepted that I would probably be in diapers from that point on. I guess this slow progression just sort of "eased" me into acceptance and now I look at diapers as normal underwear, at least my normal. I suppose if I was much younger I might be looking at this in a whole different way but with the great support of my wife it's just not that big of a deal. Yes, inconvenient, expensive, and requiring pre-planning but definitely not an end to an active and fulfilling life.


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