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Support for dealing with incontinence
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 Post subject: learning todeal with it
PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:12 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2009 3:08 pm
Posts: 16
Location: Kentucky
I have had bladder problems all my life..When you add type2 diabetes ,2 water pills for high blood pressure, you see I am always going to be wet I already wore diapers, so there no big adjustment to make.
I was a heavy bed wetter as a child,when my parents came to accept the fact I would always need diapers, my life got a lot easier. But I was still had alot of shame and embarasment, I tended to be friends with other kids with the same problems I had. It was not hard to find them.
My parents told I needed to find "normal friends not bed wetters", there was always shame and hideing You always felt different, abnormal,strange and needing to hide your "problem"..
When I "came out" and stopped hideing,stopped the embarasment, my life changed. I don't make a point of the fact I am incontinent but I don't hide it .
I wear diapers or a Mcguire urinal , nobody sees anything.Yes incontinence changed my life,but being diabetic and takeing shots changed it to.
Our lives change all the time, wearing diapers has been the least change in mine. Change is a part of life. So lets just get on with it.


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 Post subject: Making the most of it
PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:29 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:05 am
Posts: 5
Location: England
Do I want to be incontinent? No way. But do I let it affect my life? No.

I do almost everything anybody else does at my age, except I wear a nappy and use it.

Real friends accept me for who I am and are not bothered at all that I wear a nappy.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:06 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:41 pm
Posts: 54
I have only ever actually told one friend. I dont have a problem telling them but my wife thinks its personal and doesnt need to be shared. I mean, I wouldnt go and shout it from the top of my house but why should I treat it like a dirty secrect. Just as charlotte says, Real friends would stick around and it wouldnt matter at all.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:43 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2013 4:12 am
Posts: 8
Location: Tacoma, WA
First of all this is my introduction and response to this thread. My name is Kevin Cline. Im 30 years old and I'm a single dad, christian, gay male. I grew up in foster care but im still close with my mom. I own and operate my own business and started a non profit. I have served on boards. ran for political office twice. been to college several times and now trying to finish up online. I love all people despite feeling, growing up, that humanity turned its back on me and my mom. I rarely get angry and when i do, I let it go quickly. I love to sing. I love computers. great finds at garage sales and craiglist. Movies that make me cry and good food. Im also urinary and bowel incontinent and this has been part of who i am since birth or in regards to technical incontinence and how its diagnosed, since I was old enough to have supposed to achieved continence.

My site talks a lot about the hows and the whys but to sum it up: I was born drug addicted, was cut off from O2 during delivery because of a wrapped umbilical cord and suffered some skull fractures during the very eventful birth. I was born with and had seizures until late child hood. Showed and still show symptoms of mild cerebral palsy. went through periods of incarceration at children's hospital because id wake up and couldn't walk. severe night terrors which eventually became a non rem sleep parasomnia. Learning issues, problems concentrating. walking on my tippy toes. SPD a sensory disorder, extremely tight rigid muscles(hypertonia) in my legs and arms and trunk) kidney issues, urinary system dysfunction and bowel dysfunction. I don't get warning I need to urinate or defecate. I also deal with urinary reflux. Both my urinary and bowel sphincter muscles don't operate like they should and so that ads to it too. I often compare my voiding abilities as being on an automatic timer. I cant time it. there is no rhyme or reason to when i relieve my self. it just happens. from a young age, diapers where the choice and that is what I have used ever since. Life was hard for me until i learned to accept it and reach an age where my friends where not kids who'd tease me blind. Even today i still experience some sad situations where the other person could have handled things better but over all most people are nice about it if they find out. I used to be ultra sensitive and would constantly look for ways to hide that I had to wear diapers or deny it if asked. Now a days, I have reached a point where I'm okay with this.

being a dad has its challenges of course but i sum it all up as this: I may not be able to teach her to go potty by example but i can teach her how to be a wonderful person by example and that is all that matters.

I guess for most people. incontinence strikes later in life and so you lost something. for me I was essentially born with out continence in the first place and so i had to grieve when kids or people reminded me either on purpose or by accident that what i wore around my waist wasn't normal. Your lives where changed when you lost continence and mine well this is what i have always known. its like a person born with out sight vs some one who loses it in life or same with complete hearing loss. My life was certainly different and still is but it never really changed except when I learned to accept that my issues would never get better and that diapers would have to be my best friend. parents learn and get luvs. I learned and got my self.

_________________
http://diaperdad.weebly.com my incontinence blog. adventures of a 30 year single dad who deals with urinary and bowel incontinence. parents learn and get luvs. I learned and got my self.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:15 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 1
I am now 67 years old and have been suffering from Nocturnal Enuresis since birth, I have always accepted that, I have to wear a thick nappy pad at night, I also wear a pair of high sided pvc pants with welded leg and waist bands.
Last Year after under going a major heart operation, a triple bypass operation, they fitted me with a catheter for the op, and five days after I had been admitted onto the general ward from the ICU, a young nurse came to take out my catheter, she said it wouldnt hurt me, she took the bag off the tube and started to pull on the long red tube, the pain made me yell out in pain, a senior nurse raced in, and said to the nurse have you let the balloon in the tube go down, she said no I didnt, he got a special needle pack and let the balloon down then he pulled the tube out slowly, but the pain was out of this world, a surgeon came over and said, give him something for the pain, and then we all saw the blood on the bed, and then I felt a warm liquid around my groin area, it was urine leaking out, the surgeon gave me a injection, which put me out, I came round back in the ICU, with a gigantic nappy pad wrapped around me, I was visited by a urologist and the continence nurse, they told me that, they had carried out an mini operation, but they cant do anything to stop the trickle of urine from the bladder, they wanted to take the bladder away, but I said no, I dont want to be confined to my home, until I die with no control, over what I do, she said at the moment they have stitched up the neck of the bladder, to stop the leak, and with luck the trickle will stop, so two months later, in a side ward, the trickle did stop, but I got some control over the flow, but it is limited, if I hold for to long it just flows until its empty, they cant fit a catheter because of the stitching, and they cant fit a rubber devise to my penis, as it wont hold properly.
So they now supply me with Euron pull up pants for daytime wear and Euron Form Large super nappy pads for night time wear, I still wear a pair of plastic pants over them just in case.
At first I thought I was the most unlucky person alive, being double incontinent was the last straw, I felt it was better, if I had chosen to say no to the heart operation, my good wife as been marvelous she as always washed my pants and generally fussed over me since we were married 47 years ago.
I got compensation for my injuries and the social services moved us into a specially adapted bungalow.and we get attendance allowance to help my wife look after me, I am not a invalid I go out for walks with my dog, and my wife, but I have to make sure I dont go to far, we always take a spare pair of pull ups with us, to change into, we know where all the special adapted toilets are and have a special key to use them, so I can wash and clean up before I leave the toilet.
A friend of mine is also incontinent during the day, and he as discovered terry pull up pants which come with a internal soaker pad if needed, also they do them in double thickness, do you think they would be better to use than, the euron pull up pads and the euron form nappy pads, he also wears a pair of plastic pants over them. I would like your advise on this subject, or perhaps you could suggest a better pad to use or pants to use with them.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 9:45 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2013 6:31 am
Posts: 73
I guess I am lucky my incontinence hasn't really changed my life very much at all. Once I got used to having to wear pads or a nappy at night to keep our bed dry and wearing incontinence pants during the day the rest seemed to take care of it's self. I am very lucky to have a very supportive wife who doesn't see my incontinence a problem. It was with her help we chose which products were best for me to use. I still do everything I always did and apart from my travel bag with pants and pads etc nothing has really altered.
It was a shock at first and took a while to accept but now life just goes on.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2018 9:45 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:17 am
Posts: 6
It hasn't. I can do everything I have always wanted to do. Also, I have nothing else to compare it to since I have been incontinent my entire life.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 5:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2020 12:18 pm
Posts: 41
Location: Earth
I am less spontaneous about things like travel or going out with friends and it's made be a better planner, there are few aspects of my life that haven't been affected by it. I have developed and almost subconscious habit after standing up where I will brush a hand across my back side to feel for any wet spots and also look where I was sitting to see there are wet spots. Before leaving my house I always check my diaper because I don't like leaving in a diaper that will need a change soon.

Things that were once no big deal now require some fore thought:

Going out after work for a drink with colleagues - yeah sure, let me just make sure I have an extra diaper or two and are sufficient for the increased wetting that will happen if I drink alcohol.

Going to a club with friends - many clubs don't let you take in anything but the smallest of purses. now you have to think about how long you will be there and will your protection last..

Want to come boating with at the lake this weekend - oh god

Want to take a yoga class with me at the YMCA - double oh god :shock:


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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2021 4:20 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
When do I lose my rookie status? At 1 year? :lol:

In my rookie year so far it has caused me to spend a lot of time shopping online for diapers -- William Shatner might say that I've "had to make friends with diapers" (vs fibre commercials).
  • Looking for the best bang/buck for home/office accident prevention diaper
  • Looking for the best bang/buck and comfort for 4+ hour absorbent "outing" diaper
  • As Jenn said, I now have to think about where we are going when we go out and for how long (which during this pandemic it is not very often)
  • Taking time to personally test diapers in the privacy of home. It's uncomfortable but there is really no other way to find out if the diaper will work in public without doing a 4 hour test. In the words of Dirty Harry "a man has got to know his limitations!"

To simplify my life from having to keep secrets, my immediate family all know. I've also been slowly putting together a diaper bag for days when I might need it (formerly a laptop bag). A spare diaper and a garbage bag is now kept in my truck's glove box. My closet has somehow become full of diaper related stuff! Someone looking in it for the first time might get the wrong idea. :|

To summarize, it seems like a lot has changed. I'm looking forward to when all this diaper stuff recedes to the background. Maybe that will happen before I lose my Rookie Card.


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PostPosted: Fri May 07, 2021 10:21 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 1:15 pm
Posts: 110
Location: Germany
With me it is more or less like Jenn - I am now less spontaneous and the "logistics" sucks. Also, now in Corona time, many cafes and shops are closed so you often have to search longer for a place to change at, so planning becomes even more important. In this context, I also had to switch to more absorbent diapers when I'm on the road because it is no longer guaranteed that you can change in time if an accident has happened.

But all in all, there are certainly worse. In the beginning I had more problems with it, because I was extremely embarrassed. Meanwhile, at least that has given - but the dissatisfaction about the situation is still there.


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