Well, time for an update, though I'm not entirely sure whether it's worth updating on.
Anyway my wife and I had a chat in which I told her about my feelings about her attitude against me. She was a bit uncomfortable with the agenda, but I remained focused on the topic, me and how I felt about her way of treating me.
I asked her to be honest, and answer my questions as well as listen to me without interrupting me. I started out telling her, that I loved her and it made me sad that I somewhat felt rejected by her due to my situation and how I deal with it. She was a bit surprised at first but she revealed to me, that she also still loved me no matter what and that my incontinence issues hadn't affected her feelings towards me, only that if she could smell my wet diaper (And she has a very good nose) she sometimes felt either sad or annoyed, and as she told me, sometimes she thought I did it on purpose, being smelly, just to annoy her. I told her that often I couldn't smell myself so I wasn't aware of it, and therefore it was a bit hard for me knowing when to change after an accident occured or after several accidents...the beuaty of having to go as often as I have to, with the accidents which happens also, makes it pretty costly to go change each time.
Anyway for now, we seems to have come to an understanding, we have even begun being intimate again, the other day when our son was out playing with hes friends and we had the house for overselves, she came to me and started to cuddle with me, and made the obvious signs to me, that she wanted us to go to the bedroom and do some adult stuff.
A big stone was lifted from my shoulders as it was just like before being with her....I'm not going into details here but I realized that not being intimate with my wife for so long may have contributed to my negative thinking of her. Anyway the talk we had, really helped, as she explained and I also. She still cannot understand my choice in dealing with this bladder issue, but maybe sometime in the future she will. I'm super cautious about how I smell, not that I have ignored it before, but for her sake and mine as well, I pay extra attention...Yes some days are more worse than others, some days I have leaks, but we manage for now. She just tells me to throw the wet clothes and she will wash it, if an accident have occured in bed, she have asked me to lift the sheet, so that when she get's up she sees it, and can throw it in the washer.
Apparently we are beginning to get things working.....off course I do whatever I can to help her, and deal with my issues the best I can.
Just a small update...in two weeks I'll go to the urodynamics study, I have chosen not to involve my wife for now, maybe later on I will. She has not shown any interest in doing so anyway, and cannot get off from work anyway so I'll go alone.
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