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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:25 am 
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Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2014 5:51 am
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I’ve been dealing with incontinence issues for some time now (been in diapers 24/7 for one year “plus” by now) Prior to that well, I struggled throughout the day dealing with an overly unpredictable bladder which over time worsened.

I started out with an overactive bladder meaning I was experiencing frequent sudden urges.

In the beginning I were able to make it to the toilet although sometimes my underwear was damp, but more and more often I started experiencing small accidents by which I started using toilet paper in my underwear, however over time the toilet paper didn’t do as I graduated to having full blown accidents meaning a full emptying of my bladder in my pants, needless to say it was and still is very embarrassing being a grown up and have to deal with soaked pants sometime.

I went to the doctor who sent me to an urologist which after numerous investigations couldn’t find any particular reason for my incontinence other than an overactive detrusor muscle – by then my bladder capacity was close to normal, however I have experienced that my bladder capacity has decreased especially after I started wearing genuine diapers 24/7 and the urges has also changed, so that I wet sometimes without only realizing it after.

As many others, so I have read, I tried other solutions for handling my incontinence issues, like medications, doing kegels, timed voidings etc., although I got some results from these, they also represented a lot of concern to me as they didn’t offer the solution to my problem as I hoped for. Especially the medications meant discomfort due to side effects like dry mouth, tunnel vision, headaches and so on.

After some time I decided to stop taking the medication since the effect from it didn’t decrease my frequency / urgency by much (I still had accidents and due to the medication, when I had an accident it wasn’t minor….)…Meanwhile on medication I was advised to do regular kegels and try timed voiding’s, however although they helped some, they also provided much stress and discomfort, since I’ve was constantly thinking about my bladder state not having an accident, having direct access to a vacant toilet once needed….I started wearing pads in my underwear but gradually worked my way up to ever more absorbent pads – they helped somewhat, but I made the mistake to trust them too much, and since they wasn’t meant to handle a full wetting accident, I gradually made the switch toward real diapers, in the start I only taped the lower ones as I still tried to make it to the toilet, however eventually when a toilet wasn’t readily accessible, I’ve had to use my diaper, and from these experiences I learnt, that although I dreaded diapers from the start, I started to like them, as they provided me with the security I needed, and from there, well, I’ve been more or less in diapers 24/7.

So here I am, a forty year old dad back in diapers…..do I regret being back in diapers? No! Actually they have provided me with some comfort and security together with a regained dignity, as I again without much stress can carry on living my life, actively going out and not being stuck in my house.
Yes, being diapered do mean, I have to plan ahead and take my precautions, but again I regained my freedom with the help of the right kind of protection aka diapers.

However I remember when I revealed to my wife that I had this problem and even more when I told her, that I had been dealing with the issues for some time using diapers. Back then, I really feared her reaction, and her lack of acceptance of me and the choices I made. However in comparison we found some solutions to deal with it, like having a protection on our couch and extra protection in bed.
Thankfully she supported me from day one and it was a great relief not having to hide the diapers anymore although I don’t flaunt them, they are still visible in our bedroom where I store them.
Our son doesn’t know about he’s dad being in diapers, since I’m very discrete about them, actually no one besides my wife and doctor knows about my diapered state, I have not told anyone at my work, nor family or friends about me having issues and how I deal with them, as it’s none of their business, thereby by “nick name”.

All in all, it has been a positive thing in my life, starting to use diapers since other things didn’t work as intended, not that I "like" diapers, not at all, but they offered me security and dignity.

Inconito


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 10:25 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
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Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Hi Inconito and welcome to the forum!

I'm John, quite a bit older than you, bowel incontinent and wear diapers 24/7. Until very recently I also was bladder incontinent, but that is another story.

It sounds like you have taken a very ordered approach to dealing with your incontinence and are coping with your situation very well. Of course, it really helps to have a supportive wife. I am blessed in that regard.

Like you, I do not view my wearing diapers as a negative factor as they have been essential in allowing me to go about a normal life. I progressed quickly to "real" taped diapers and have found good quality or "premium," diapers to be more reliable for me and to be less expensive in the long run.

For work, are you using any other of the "tricks of the trade" such as silencers, plastic pants, compression pants, etc?

--John


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 12:55 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1356
I second all of the above.

As long as my protection does its duty (I do not have an accident that leaves a visible stain on my pants) the exact nature of my underwear is not the business of any bystander. I go about my day's activities, wash and change as needed, and nobody is the wiser, which is how I want it.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:39 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2014 5:51 am
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JDinVirginia wrote:
Hi Inconito and welcome to the forum!

I'm John, quite a bit older than you, bowel incontinent and wear diapers 24/7. Until very recently I also was bladder incontinent, but that is another story.

It sounds like you have taken a very ordered approach to dealing with your incontinence and are coping with your situation very well. Of course, it really helps to have a supportive wife. I am blessed in that regard.

Like you, I do not view my wearing diapers as a negative factor as they have been essential in allowing me to go about a normal life. I progressed quickly to "real" taped diapers and have found good quality or "premium," diapers to be more reliable for me and to be less expensive in the long run.

For work, are you using any other of the "tricks of the trade" such as silencers, plastic pants, compression pants, etc?

--John


Well I won't exactly say I was fast in terms of coming to acceptance on my situation - when it first started I was sure I'd better die, than being "forced" back in diapers. However I quickly learned that it wasn't that big a deal wearing diapers!

If I'm wearing heavy protection like a Molicare super plus together with a abri-let maxi booster to work, I usually wear a onesie to support and prevent my diaper from showing + it helps prevent diaper sagging.

If I on the other hand is wearing some lighter protection like the Tena Maxi slip, I only use net briefs designed to support a diaper.

Well in regard to my wife, she's usually supportive, however sometimes I think the smell of a wet diaper really gets to her...although I really try to change in a timely manner, however if I haven't been well hydrated well it's gonna smell more...


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 6:54 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1609
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Inconito,

In the beginning, I had a very difficult time emotionally accepting that I needed to wear a full diaper 24/7. Once past that phase it was downhill.

Yes, onesies are great, aren't they. I have had some difficulty in getting just the right size for the amount of support I need. The best so far is from Babykins in Canada. The overall quality is very good and the snaps on their onesies are further up for easier access.

Re odor, I think our spouses often are more sensitive than we are. While my wife is very supportive, I go out of my way, insofar as is practical, to protect her from the more unpleasant aspects of my bowel incontinence.

--John


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:14 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2014 5:51 am
Posts: 11
Although I'm wearing somewhat heavy protection during the day given how long I have been dealing with incontinence issues, they provide me a full working day (mostly) without having to change at work. I do have a diaperbag hanging in a discreete room, if I have to change.
However I prefer not to, since people tend to look when I walk though the offices and put my bag into the room. (I have small locker on it so no one can take a look at the inside...no one needs to know I have to use diapers.

My experiences with onesies and sizing is, that the Abena medium fits me perfectly. However I have to get a few from Babypants, as they have plastic snaps....I travel a lot and won't get strip searched in the airport for triggering the metal detectors...
I have afew others, but they don't give me the same support though, however they are great as "t-shirts" preventing the diaper from showing.


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