www.incontinentsupport.org

for many of us wearing diapers was never a choice. as a child I,and many others were wetters. A child faceing this problem lives a life of frustration,shame and punishment. As an adult it goes from bad to worse.
For me, it was like most wetters,it was spanking,shaming all to get us to stop wetting. I guess for some of us the potty training thing just never kicked in.I don't blame my parents they were just doing what others did. My parents were just as frustraited as I was.
When you just can't find an answer to a problem what do you do? I was wet most nights and leaked heavyly in day time. My parents just gave up,and so did I..
It happend, that we had to move so we had to stay with a friend and her two boys one 8 and one 4 for a week. at the age of 6 I was afraid of what was going to happen. My mother finally told her friend that I was a bed wetter and was scared of what was going to happen.. Her friend told her that both of her sons were also wetters, Of course I didn't know any of this I just knew I was scared.
At bed time we all took baths and all went in the bedroom, I saw a pile of diapers and plastic pants, she diapered all three of us, I didn't know what to do, I just knew my mother was going to be mad. When my mom walked into the room and saw me in a T shirt and plastic pants I thought I was going to die. Mom told me to just go along with it for now, that this would keep me dry. the other boys were diapered too and didn't seem to mind at all we played for awhile and then went to bed.
When I woke up the all of the beds were dry our diapers were all wet but that was the first time I woke up in a dry bed in a long time.
we stayed for the week I wore diapers every night and woke up dry every morning.. My mom told me I would be wearing diapers until I got dry, that never happened for me
I am not a AB/DL or any thing like that, but going back into diapers was one of the best decesions my parents ever made Yes diapers gave me a normal dry life, I will always wear diapers, but at the age of 62 I appreciat the decesion my mother made.

Hello there. I think you make some very good points. Yes, I'd agree, using a diaper or whatever protection is most appropriate for your needs personally can definitely be seen as a positive thing. It probably isn't something we ever expect to need to do or want to do at first. But personally, I've come to see it as just acknowledging a medical need and choosing the means that best deals with that need so as to be able to participate fully in what I need to do in life. My problems have got a lot worse over the last year or so and it's in recent months I've taken the step to use higher levels of protection. I know already it has made a big difference to quality of life and to things I can do - even simple things like covering in a different department at work where there's less regular possibility of bathroom breaks, or going out for the day to a place where I have no idea where the toilets will be. That might sound silly to some people but they are both things I have been able to do in recent weeks which would have been impossible without the appropriate level of protection, because I'd have had frequent messy accidents !
It sounds as if our situations are a bit different as, if I understand you right, you have needed some protection since childhood, whereas I started to really need it as a young adult (although I recognise now that I probably did have some problems in childhood as well). I wonder if that makes it harder or easier to see it as a positive thing. I can imagine it's probably much harder as a child or teenager to deal with needing protection, and when at school and so on.

Hey Incon 47 and Bernadette,
I moved this topic to this catagory since you have started an interesting subject.
Incon 47 has made a good point and Bernadette picked up on that too.
Having to wear diapers can give incontinent sufferers a positive attitude toward life and everyday activities. I myself, like Bernadette, became incontinent later on in life. I didn't have any problems while I was young.
I don't know how I would cope with my every day activities if I could not depend on my diaper to prevent accidents.
I hope parents today who have children who have a wetting problem can accept the child's condition and don't make it an issue that will scar the child's life. ......Paul Martin

I have always had wetting problems, I traced this back in my family at least to my great grandfather,maby longer. Myfather would never admidt any thing but I heard he was a wetter to, My son was until his teens. I don't know if this means anything but there were a lot of leaky men in my family tree. My mother almost miscarried me and was given DES, I can't prove any of this means anything
When my mother decided my wearing diapers was not an insult to her parenting skills life got a lot better for us all.
I wear diapers and always will accepting this takes a lot of stress out of my life

In the last year two children have been killed for having wetting accidents by their mothers "boyfriends". A few dollars spent on diapers could have prevented this.
Wearing diapers was one of the best decisions I made I can live a normal life.

Positive? Umm no its embarassing & gross. I guess in my case the alternative was frequent painful UTIs , or wet & soiled clothes, & bed. So yes I need a diaper & probably always will. But I wish it was different. Things I took for granted I miss just wearing pretty feminine underwear , Getting up and going to the bathroom on my own. Seems simple for most until you spend most of your time in bed on a disposable incontinence pad in a diaper wetting and messing on yourself.

Yes, Incon47, I certainly agree diapers have been a positive thing in my life, primarily by allowing a "normal" life. I read your post with great interest as we are close in age and we both "failed" potty training, to the disappointment of our parents, especially mom who had the major role in child rearing in those days.

Parents competed in child rearing and the time of the first word, the first step and ofcourse getting out of diapers and rubber pants were all big milestones to "crow" about. Families were bigger generally back then and at Thanksgiving and other holidays for the gathering of the clan, all the little kids were discussed amongst aunts and my mom was the subject of a lot of "advice" as I turned 3 and 4 and 5 and was facing school....still wearing diapers and rubber pants!

I was spared embarassment outside the family, which was a good thing. I was cautioned not to mention my diapers because none of the other boys my age were in diapers and I'd get teased.

Your post about a dry bed sure stirs a memory from way back when I was perhaps 10-12. Still diagnosed as simply "late development" the doctor suggested doing away with the diapers and letting the discomfort of a wet bed motivate me to wake up and go the toilet. (My mom out of embarassment did not mention that I wasn't dry during the day!) So no more diapers! That meant a wet bed every night and the curse of having a cold wet spot that could not be avoided and trying to sleep.

Daytime on school days I was dressed in diapers and rubber pants of course, which were well concealed. The nightly wet beds went on for what seemed an eternity but probably was just a few weeks. Mom got tired of the laundry and there was no improvement and the return to diapers for sleeping was indeed a luxury.

In my 20's I took a dislike to the constant diapers and decided I didn't want any part of (daytime) diapers any longer. I sought out anything and everything it seemed, in the drug stores for "control of wetting" which were mostly pad and pant systems but were very skimpy and not diaper-like in any way....and in many cases no separate plastic pants. I thought the first failures and serious leaks were just picking the wrong product and this went on for a few months, trying this and trying that system....with a lot of very discouraging wet pants.

The embarassing situations were many and the wet furniture....I hate to even think about it now! I finally realized that diapers worked liked nothing else and with diapers I could return to normal and not be plagued with wet pants and the fear of wet furniture whenever I sat down.

What I did not know, in my ignorance at the time, was the products I was using were for light incontinence, dribble and stress incontinence. But information like that was on the packages....just the promise of staying dry, which in my case was simply not possible. A product designed to hold 2-3 oz of wetness is always going to leak when subjected to 6-8 oz or more!

Back in cloth diapers and plastic pants, well concealed under clothing, my dignity gradually returned and my life returned to normal from the nightmare of nearly always being wet and generally at most inappropriate times. So, yes, indeed, diapers have turned out to be a most postive thing in my life! Diapers are what allowed me to get on with my life and not let my incontinence get in the way of doing what I wanted to do!

Brandie,
I know that having to wear a diaper is not a positive thing, but if we did not have the convenience to have the selection we have now, it would be extremely depressing to put up with incontinence.
Sounds like you have a little more problems than most of us, but you mentioned you have the support of others including your husband. That's so important! I'm like you and probably like everybody else, we all would prefer not to be in diapers. I don't feel very manly having to walk around in a dipaer around my wife after my shower. We all have to cope. As long as I have my health, I'll put up with it. Thanks for your post! ......Paul Martin

Having to wear a diaper a positive thing in my life? Being the eternal optomist I have to say yes. I have accepted that due to nerve damage that I'll always have to deal with incontinence. Accepting this fact I have to believe that wearing a diaper is a positive thing because without wearing some sort of protection I'd be forced to live life chained to a toilet. I'd never have the freedom to do the things that I do and go to the places that I am able to go without wearing protection. In my specific case diapers work the best of all the bladder protection devices I have tried over the years.

I never concidered wearing diapers as a faliure,when my parents got away from the idea, that my need for diapers showed a faliure on their part, our lives got a lot easier,we just realized what i had to do. I wish it wasn't so I would rather not be wearing diapers. but I have a choice to make.
My need for diapers is no ones fault. I am happy with what am , I know I will always need diapers. I am at ease with that fact,, my family knows ,as do many of my friends, my need of diapers has never been a big secret.
During the day I often use a mcguire urinal, emptying a bag when needed is just earier than changing diapers. wearing a urinal or a diaper gives me a normal life.
I have heard of many children being beaten and abused because of a wetting problem. wouldn't it be better to buy some diapers?
I never lost a days work because of wearing diapers, I worked on a assembly line going to the bathroom every five minutes was not an option. I will put my diapered life up against any ones,yes diapers have been a positive in my life.

Yes, it is so so sad to think of the emotional and physical abuse people have reported here that children have suffered because of this medical problem... it is a form of disability yet the social stigma and strength of people's reaction to it is still huge. But it's good to hear that those who experience incontinence and their families have gradually been able to accept the use of protection.... as the first post on this thread shows, this can help others with the same problem to see a more positive way of dealing with the issue too.