www.incontinentsupport.org

mhedman,
Thanks for the post! You really said a mouthfull with all those conditions you have. It really sounds complicated.
I welcome you to comment on our other subjects of interest. It's nice to see a new poster! Thanks again! ..............Paul Martin

Hi everyone, this is my first post and first time trying one of these support group sites. My name is Jim and I am 38. For me it started about a month after returning home from the first Gulf War. I got put on a bunch of drugs for PTSD and depression. It started out as just a little leaking then progressed to all of a sudden I would feel the urge to go but by the time I got to the bathroom I will have already went. Now I just go. I had a few tests done and all came back normal. This I said to myself SUX! I began to wear these diapers which just made me feel real bad. (To shorten this up a bit) Of course I did finally come to terms with everything and well here I am.

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Godbless our soldiers and thank you for your service...

Jim,
Thank's for joining up with us. As you read other peoples post, you'll see we all help one another. If you have any questions or comments on any subject, just post.
Thank you for supporting our country during the Gulf war! Any kind of help you need, just let us know. ....................Paul Martin

First you must know that I'm in the UK, so my terminology and spelling is in UK-English.....

About 17 years ago, when I was 40yo, I had a bout of prostatitis, the cause of which has never been discovered. That was the start of my incontinence.

At the time, I had a temperature of over 40c, and was totally unable to control my bladder. I had no choice but to wear nappies (diapers) and waterproof pants. I used bath towels at the time, and plastic pants which were bought locally at a UK national pharmacy chain-store ("Boots").

I have seen several urologists. Initially, I had an Intravenous Pyelogram (IVP), and later a couple of ultrasound scans. Surgery was suggested after the IVP, but the urologist was reluctant, saying my condition was "marginal", and it might actually make matters worse, so I declined. Since then I have had a couple of other offers of surgery, but the outcome always seems to be dubious, so I have declined. I have been offered tablets, of several varieties, but I know the side effects of those tablets, and also that the benefits, if any, are probably outweighed by the side effects.

So, here I am, incontinent......most of the time it's "urge" incontinence. I have become used to this, and I regard my nappies as a slightly "different" underwear from that which most people wear.

I have tried just about everything going, including disposables, cloth-nappies, pullups, etc., and have devised my methods of protection to suit myself. I've had successes and disasters, like many here. Any newbee to incontinence should know that it takes a lot of trial and error to find just what is right for you. You just need to persevere.

Personally, I use terry-cloth nappies, with waterproof pants, pretty much 24/7. I find them comfortable, they don't leak, and it gives me a sense of security. When I'm at work, I wear side-snap terry pants, with side-snap waterproof covers. They are easy to change, and easy to conceal from my colleagues.

The whole thing is not that which I would choose, but I just get on with my life, and don't let my inco stop me from doing anything.

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Too Wet to Woo?

Owly,
Welcome to the grouo! I liked your post. Sounds like you're on the right track. I know the British have a few different terms which I'm pretty much use to now. I use mostly cloth diapers, but disposables during the day. I do have a couple of pair of terry cloth diapers, and they are great. My favorite still is gauze, but I like to have a variety. I think I've heard that terry cloth is the norm over in UK.
Again, thanks for your post. I hope to see more from you. .....Paul Martin

Thank you, Paul, for your welcome. I will say no more, on this thread, as I have explained the cause of my inco, and it will be taking the thread off-subject. Will post further on "General Discussion".

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Too Wet to Woo?

I am a 61 year old male who has been struggling with prostate problems since my mid fifties. I recently began wearing diapers and rubber pants full-time after years of anxiety over the possibility of wetting myself. It got to the point that the anxiety was worse than diapers.

Here is my saga. It began with getting up frequently at night to pee and got worse. My physician referred me to a urologist after listening to my complaints for two years. The urologist examined me and found I had an enlarged prostate. My PSA levels were normal and did not give any indication of prostate cancer. He suggested medication to help. I was not ready to go on medication. I have been seeing the urologist annually since.

I have learned more about urination than I ever wanted. It seemed if I postponed urination it became more difficult to start and to empty my bladder. I spoke of this to my urologist and he again suggested medication. When I resisted, he said, “You will get to a point where you need to do something; medication or surgery.” I told him that if I waited to pee, it was hard to start and I had a weak stream and that sometimes I felt like just letting myself go. If I am in a meeting, I can only wait one hour maximum between trips to the bathroom. I asked if I was going to end up in diapers and when. He just laughed and said someday I would be ready to do something to address my urination problems. I did not think he took my question seriously.

The following year, I decided to try “letting myself go”. I bought some disposable diapers and wore them 7 x 24 for a week. Wetting myself was not easy at first, but by the end of a week, I could do it at will. It also seemed to be easier to pee when I did not postpone the urge. However managing diapers and fear of leaks was not easy, so I stopped wearing diapers after a week.

I did not mention diapers again to my urologist at my next two annual exams because I didn’t think he had taken my comment seriously and I was embarrassed. It was a topic I could not bring up to him. My problems continued to get worse and I regularly felt as if I was going to wet myself. Finally, about two years ago, I had my first spontaneous wetting accident. I had a burning urge to pee and was not able to get to the bathroom quickly enough and wet myself. It was humiliating. It left me even more embarrassed to discuss my problem. I decided to wear diapers again, but I did not have any more accidents in the following month, so I went back to my old diaperless ways. The frequent trips to the bathroom continued. My anxiety over wetting myself got worse.

I resisted diapers because I was afraid people would be able to tell I was in diapers. When I had my next accident, my anxiety spiked and I seriously began to think about just giving in. I never thought of myself of “having to wear diapers,” but I started to look more seriously at managing my anxiety by admitting I was incontinent and looking at diapering options.

I have been wearing diapers 7 x 24 now for the last eight months. My anxiety went from fear of wetting to fear of leaking. I wear disposable belted undergarments under rubber pants when I am at work and socially. I wear cloth diapers at home and when I am by myself. I feel much more secure now, but I have been wetting my diapers with increasing frequency; not daily but 3-5 times weekly. I stopped going to my urologist and plan to discuss my situation with my physician and get a referral if necessary, though my PSA levels have remained fine.

My anxiety about wetting myself is gone now with my experience in diapers. I have accepted it and see some actual benefits of never having to wait or find a place to pee.

This has been a very personal and private journey that I still have difficulty discussing.

Hi Notme
Welcome to the board it's nice to here from new people. Being Female I can't help much with your issues other then I have spent most of my adult life in diapers 24/7. And all my life in Diapers at night. As a child my parents often diapered me during the day for long trips or if we were going to be someplace where it maybe hard to get to a restroom. As a child in grade school I had accidents right in the class room where I completely flooded while sitting at my desk If you go through some of my old post you may find some comfort/help from my experiences.

My heart goes out to you and others that go through the stress of diaper or not or if I diaper will I show or what if I have a leak Will people here the crinkle of the plastic backing on my diaper Please remember your not alone. Even veterans like myself still know and understand all to well what your going through. Please remember your not alone.

I'm sure a few of the fellows will jump in here and say hi.

.......................Sandy

Hi Notme,
Your post described a story a lot of men go through when ther old prostate starts to act up. I, myself, have an enlarged prostate, but it never casused my incontinence. Mine is from nerve damage, but I'm sure my prostate is not helping my situation.

I understand your concern with wetting accidents and having to wear a diaper. After I read your post, I think you have made the right decission. A lot of uroligist don't seemed too concerned unless you want to get on meds or some type of surgery. Those all scare a lot of people.

Your most important concern should be your prostate. Keep an eye on your PSA with your regular doc. Cancer can sneak in very quickly if you don't keep an eye on your test and your symptoms. Good Luck! ....Paul Martin

Notme
Your story sounds just like mine. It's taken me a little while to understand how my bph got me to this point, but I now have stopped fighting it and accepted the idea of wearing diapers 24/7. Not being able to take any meds. I had no choice. It is a hard thing to accept but in the long run your life will be better, after all one should strive for the best quality of life one can obtain and not worry about what others think. It's been a learning experience for me.
DJ