Describe how you become incontinent.
Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:00 pm
My incontinence has a long history even before it really started.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family, with mental and sexual abuse.
The outward facade was perfect, and I even had people coming to me telling me I was lucky to have so good parents when I had so much mental problems.
I was constantly concentrating on not losing control over bowel and bladder, and had to remember it more or less all the time.
I did never tell anyone as I thought that I just was not doing good enough.
At the age of 26, in a stressful period during my education, I started losing control.
In the beginning it happened only when I was alone, and I was able to pick up myself the rest of the time.
I thought I was crazy, fearing being pervert, and even more afraid of losing control in public.
The more stressful or emotional situation, the harder it was to keep control.
For years I lived a kind of double life. Scared of people finding out what was happening.
At the age of 31 I had a total breakdown, as I started to remember more of my childhood.
I was unsble to work, but I did not have courage to tell my doctor about my incontinence, as I still thought it was just me not being good enough. It took me one more year until I told my gp. At that point I could not leave my flat for days, because I had no more clothes to wear.
My gp turned out to be an understanding person. He did not send me to all kind of weird examinations, but gave me a prescription for diapers. To meet kindness and understanding was too much for me, and I ended up staying one and a half year in hospital. There I met the psychologist who I an still seeing. The reason of my incontinence was diagnosed as dissociative.
I am now 45, still totally incontinent on b&b, but I have been able to live with the situation, and is more focused on other parts of my life. Being able to manage the toilet is not the ultimate meaning of life.
As I work on my issues, I may get back the function one day.
Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:23 pm
It is hard for anyone to admit they are having embarrassing issues. It took me losing control of my bladder in a very public place to drive me to discuss it with my doctor. I was sent to a Urologist to undergo an onslaught of tests just to find out it was due to nerve damage in my lower back. Once you go through all the tests and doctors it becomes much less embarrassing to face. Knowing that there are many others out there with similar issues really helps.
This is a good group of people. Ask anything about incontinence. Someone will have probably been there at one time or another.
Glad to know you are doing better. One day at a time.
Sat Oct 31, 2015 5:10 pm
I have had numerous bouts of incontinence as an adult, the first of them following a back injury this lasted a couple of years, but since then whenever I got stressed my bladder went, it would last anything from a couple of days to a couple of weeks, but this time round it seems to be lasting longer, 6 weeks and counting!
As a child I suffered significantly from bed wetting, well into my teens, and had to wear nappies to bed every night, most mornings it would be wet, I also suffered severe sexual abuse as a child, it is only on reading your post that I am putting these things together and seeing a link that was clearly there!
I too think there are bigger issues than getting stressed about continence! I am due back at the Dr's in about a week and will discuss these factors with hi. To see what he comes up with but am definitely needing a referral to continence services for supplies of nappies for as long as this issue lasts this time round.
So thank you for being brave enough to post about your situation it has certainly helped me.
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