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Re: Open for any ideas

Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:38 pm

justej wrote:because i dont want to be compared to someone who sexualizes something that brings me so much emotional pain as a result of my accident. and maybe there are people who dont sexualize it but thats all ive seen.


That's just it. I am not making that comparison, nor would I.

Re: Open for any ideas

Mon Oct 31, 2016 5:00 pm

I'm pretty relaxed about people being abdl personally and have never been compared to someone who is abdl so I don't really worry about that comparison - thoufh maybe others have been and so would understandably be a little sensitive about it. I don't really see how abdl is the same as being transgender or gay honestly, but as I'm not abdl I wouldn't know for sure.... But I really struggle to understand that comparison.

One thing I do wonder is that although abdl isn't brought up a huge amount here b Brian's signature I think brings it in to people's consciousness ever time he posts. There are many who are abdl but also incontinent for reasons unrelated to their abdl identity and/or fetish but I think people struggle with your wearing it as a 'badge of honour' on a forum where people are here for incontinence reasons only Brian. I would wonder if you would put that in your signature and be open about it on a forum for a hobby for example photography or motorbikes (as random examples) ...? I guess i think the general undertone is that when people come on here who are abdl (or appear to maybe be because we have had people join who clearly didn't have their stories straight) people are either a) suspicious of their motives or b) wonder if their abdl identity isn't related to their being incontinent why they would need to brinf it up. I hope that makes sense.

I think the ideas about manufacturers and wholesalers coming on here is good although it may not be much use to me here in the UK and now with a foley urethral catheter. It may have been helpful whilst learning about products when I was using various types of pad. I guess I probably will need pads for back up whenever I am well enough to go out but traveling somewhere without a toilet with a hoist and changing bench anyway (so that I could use a bedpan lying down) .

Re: Open for any ideas

Tue Nov 01, 2016 5:50 pm

I didn't say being abdl is exactly the same as being gay or trangendered. I have only pointed out that it is similar in that like being gay or transgendered, being an abdl is not something we choose to be. But we are chastised, called names, and yes even in some cases outright persecuted. All because of this integral part of who we are is so often misunderstood or incorrectly thought of as a fetish or sexual in nature- which isn't true at all.

Just to be clear though, abdl is NOT the same as gay or transgendered. There are however, an undeniable number of similarities for what all three groups go through. (Of which I am unfortunately all to familiar with on all fronts)
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