www.incontinentsupport.org

Support for dealing with incontinence
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 Post subject: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 1:44 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 2:00 am
Posts: 499
Location: Indiana
It seams like we have had a few people leave the forum for various reasons. :( :(
Im wondering what we can do to help, not just get new people here, but also keep the people we currently have.

If anyone has any ideas on how we can improve this forum, please let me know.
You can either PM me or post here.

Thank-you :D
Schoppy


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:02 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2015 11:49 am
Posts: 890
Location: Jacksonville Fl
Personally I'd like to see more acceptance for other groups of people, with differing views. That said, this is an incontinence only site, so we would need to keep the rules in place for straying from that. Just not so harsh for breaking/bending those rules. (I don't know, maybe expand one what really is acceptable, and include explaining repercussions for infractions).

Also, I really believe it's stupid you can't be allowed to PM someone without getting their permission on the open forums first. Worse yet this is an unwritten rule around here. This is frankly not how it's done on most any other forum, dating site, whatever. People need to know it's ok to PM someone for most any valid or topic related reason, just like it's ok to send anyone mail (even junk or political ads) without getting their consent first. If the recipient doesn't like it, they can always ignore or delete the PM. But they should not have the right to get that sender banned for sending it no matter how offended the receiver may get. Maybe filters and blocking might need to be expanded on and made more user friendly or easier to use (I don't know though, I've never tried blocking someone).


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 1:13 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2015 10:24 pm
Posts: 118
I would like to see a much lower threshold of tolerance for anything ABDL related.


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 6:12 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2015 7:09 pm
Posts: 85
Noe wrote:
I would like to see a much lower threshold of tolerance for anything ABDL related.

Ditto


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 7:11 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1593
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Regarding what Brian said about PMs, we need a clear policy on this. Not being aware of any unwritten policy, I have been blissfully PMing people without contacting them first in the open forum. Personally, I do not think it should be required to first contact someone in the open forum. It is easy enough to ignore the PM - and the sender. And yes, anyone is welcome to PM me.

While I do not want AB/DL-topics to be directly addressed here, we need to be practical about this. While the fetish itself should be off-limits, discussions of incontinent supplies, i.e., super absorbent diapers (not discussing the fetish aspects), onesies, etc. purchased from vendors who market to the AB/DL community should be accepted. I mention this as at least 5 of us from time to time use what I call super absorbent "specialty diapers" that are marketed to the AB/DL crowd. We do so when we need extra absorption, not because of any AB/DL associations. I use them for long trips.

IMHO, an unwritten policy is not a policy. I think we need a clear, written policy of both issues to avoid misunderstandings. :D

We also need to reemphasize the need for civility. Some members who may have been overly sensitive and were in disagreement with others have been unnecessarily harsh in their postings, perhaps making things worse. :(

We are such a tiny and stigmatized portion of society that it is critical that we avoid creating internal misunderstandings. We already have enough other problems! We need to make the extra effort to understand and support each other. Sometimes the best thing may be to bite our tongue and say nothing. Each is entitled to his or her opinion. On some topics I am qualified to offer advice; on others I thankfully receive it. That is why I am here.

--John


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 10:38 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2015 11:49 am
Posts: 890
Location: Jacksonville Fl
JDinVirginia wrote:
Regarding
.....AB/DL-topics.....While the fetish itself......--John


I still feel this right here is a great part of why it's so unwelcome here. By their very definitions, AB and DL are NOT FETISHES! Let's let that sink in- AB/DL people are not engaging in something that should be kept behind a locked bedroom door. This compulsion of who we are is not sexual by nature, and is most commonly recognized in us as young children long before even reaching puberty. And it is most certainly not something most any of us choose to get into, yet have struggled and failed to stop thinking this way many times only to end up severely depressed. In this regard, we are no different than a transgender or gay person. They are welcomed to talk about incontinence issues here while being open about who they are, and yet we are not- even though we would by nature have the most to contribute. Now why is that....

Ok, rant over. Sorry and hope I didn't offend anyone. I just hate being hated by others who do so without any understanding.


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:08 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1593
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Brian, I respect your position on this but feel that this thread is not the right place for a discussion. Feel free to PM me, if you wish.

--John


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 11:46 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2015 11:49 am
Posts: 890
Location: Jacksonville Fl
JD. Sorry. I wasn't directing that back at you personally, but meant to use what you said to capture the general societal misunderstanding that keeps me (and many others) a little less than welcome here. Of which, I would say is very relevant to this topic.

Again, I apologize if it seemed like I was attacking you though. That was not my intent.


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 5:35 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2015 7:09 pm
Posts: 85
B Brian wrote:
JDinVirginia wrote:
Regarding
.....AB/DL-topics.....While the fetish itself......--John


I still feel this right here is a great part of why it's so unwelcome here. By their very definitions, AB and DL are NOT FETISHES! Let's let that sink in- AB/DL people are not engaging in something that should be kept behind a locked bedroom door. This compulsion of who we are is not sexual by nature, and is most commonly recognized in us as young children long before even reaching puberty. And it is most certainly not something most any of us choose to get into, yet have struggled and failed to stop thinking this way many times only to end up severely depressed. In this regard, we are no different than a transgender or gay person. They are welcomed to talk about incontinence issues here while being open about who they are, and yet we are not- even though we would by nature have the most to contribute. Now why is that....

Ok, rant over. Sorry and hope I didn't offend anyone. I just hate being hated by others who do so without any understanding.


disagree.
Paraphilic infantilism, also known as autonepiophilia and adult baby syndrome is a sexual fetish that involves role-playing a regression to an infant-like state. Behaviors may include drinking from a bottle or wearing diapers.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism
it would be nice if this could be one place about incontinence on the Net were this subject would not come up except in the context of supplies
one of the main reasons I do not participate here is that this damn subject keeps coming up here.


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 Post subject: Re: Open for any ideas
PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 6:17 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2015 9:13 am
Posts: 370
I really hope we can keep this site dedicated to dealing with incontinent issues, bringing AB/DL subjects here will defeat the real purpose of this site.

Schoppy has created a place that we can openly talk about how we deal with bladder and bowel iasues and our Medical need for diapers or meds. its hard enough for people who are new to having to deal with IC issues and coming to terms they need to wear diapers as an adult to manage blader or bowel medical issues.

I have no problem people recommending better absorbant diapers or supplies that will help some one keep dry but lets keep the talk about AB/DL topics away from our daily discussions about helping our members New and Old coupe with IC issues.

Rob


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